As a country, the U.S. has come a long way in terms of acceptance and tolerance of differing race, color, ethnicity, nationality and gender. In doing research on black women and Asian men relationships, I’ve come across alot of negative feedback on this very topic. Who is this negative feedback coming from? Mostly non-black women and non-Asian men. I find that very interesting. The very people that this topic does not involve have the strongest opinions about it. So then the question has to be asked: in what way are bw/am relationships affecting these non bw/am people so much that they are so opposed to it? I’m a bit baffled myself. But I can think of a few reasons:
1) Jealousy and hating. There will always be naysayers. Just for the simple fact that BW and AM are actually starting to acknowledge each others’ existence, there are others on the outside that just can’t abide it. They can’t stand to see acceptance and tolerance in BW and AM reach a higher level.
2) Fear of the unknown. It is human nature to fear “uncharted territory” as it were. Are non-bw/am people afraid of what potential an BW/AM couple have? Are they afraid they themselves may be left out or thrown to the wayside for a BW or AM?
Even though these reasons are quite likely, its still hard for me to accept that people have such a big problem with these couplings, even if it doesn’t pertain to them. Help me out:
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I love your blog! Awesome job on the content, the photo selection, and the overall layout! Bi is a very attractive male whom I feel is largely overlooked by the American media. Jet Li was very popular…but now it’s time for a fresh face…Bi would be a great pick!
It’s so true what you point out….society for some reason is still not very accepting of the black female/asian male relationships. This country still has a long way to go in terms of interracial relationships.
Keep up the good work on your blog!
I’m not sure, but I think talking about it is a great. I love the idea of Black women and Asian men, and feel that people should be free to follow as they desire. Thanks for putting it out there….!
yes, indeed! And like you said, talking about it is great…it becomes less taboo and much more likely to happen!
As a black woman, I think it’s ridiculous for people to try to tell me who I should or shouldn’t be attracted to. I happen to have a great fond for Asian men and I don’t see what the big deal is. They are intelligent, respectful, humbled, fun to be around and of course oh so hot from what I know and there’s nothing wrong with a woman wanting a man like that. Personally, I think that people are uncomfortable with it because we seem so different from one another and it doesn’t fit into their image of “normal”…but I’m sure all of the bw/am couples just laugh and soak up the attention, if I had an Asian man on my arm I know that’s what I would do!!
I surely would soak up the attention, and just take it as jealousy, quite honestly. I feel like if people are too concerned with your business to pay attention to theirs, it reflects badly on them–NOT you!
I surely would soak up the attention, and just take it as jealousy, quite honestly. I feel like if people are too concerned with your business to pay attention to theirs, it reflects badly on them–NOT you!
No matter how much people try to justify their displeasure of IR dating, it’s just straight up wrong.
I looked at an older clip that came from “The I Love Asian Guys” website about a Tanzanian woman who lives in Japan with her husband and her then 2 year old daughter. What fascinated me about her story was how they fell in love. He was in in Tanzania for business, caught malaria, she nurses him to health and they develop a love for each other.The rest was history.Another thing that I found out about this couple was that they were older when they had their daughter(45,55). I don’t know if I want kids in my 40’s,but god knew best.One of the of the things the Kobayshis worries about is the possible racism that the little may face in school.It’s sad that children a forced with this issue. I’m quite sure that her parent’s don’t want to confront that reality.
I’ve always been attracted to all sort of guys, since I was ,but up until I was 7 years old and it hasn’t left me.There was one Indian man who tried to get my attention. Honestly, I wasn’t attracted to him though I’ve been attracted to them,but I was raised not to ask guy on dates. He didn’t have the guts to ask and I wasn’t about to ask him for one so that was that. There was also another Indian guy who just stared at me and I didn’t know why. No matter where I turned, his eyes seemed to turn on ME. It was almost intimidating! Maybe that was the way he looked at things or I was someone else….I don’t know.
I admit to being one of those people who didn’t think that BW/AM wouldn’t date ,but for a non prejudicial reason. I thought that Asian men were the breadwinners in their families and that their parents( especially with the oldest son) expected them to marry only Asian women( forgive me, My ex was Nigerian and it was sort like that in his family). and if they liked non Asian women, it would be with a White woman. Considering that Black women/Asian men are at the bottom of the list for relationships/marriage, I didn’t think that Asian men would want to deal with Black women with that stigma on them and vice versa
It’s great that you and many others have websites dedicated to Asian men/people/culture. There some people still live in the stone ages when it comes to this issue.I also hate it when people declare the surge of AM/BW couples ( and other IR couples for that matter)as a “fad”.The couples have been out for a long time,it’s just that nobody want to believe it happens because the stereotypes are on their minds. To the critics, AM/BW isn’t as ” popular” as B/W or AW/WM ones so they can’t attracted to each other( Yeah, right!)
AM/BW pairings isn’t something that is going to blow in the wind. What the critics don’t get is that people love each other no matter what. Just like the Tobayashis, If you ask me,they seem to love each other not only for the way they feel about each other, but sticking by each other during the storms.That is love and love is never a fad.
I would say the majority of it is just pure hatred for the races involved. A lot of the opposed have hate that goes along the lines of making cruel points about assumed sexuality of the races and are completely grounded in ignorant beliefs. Most people cannot see WHY bw/am would exist so they hate. I’ve read attacks that also assumed something along the lines of ‘asian men don’t like you/you are ugly to them’. It’s really just that people don’t get it.
I honestly don’t know why people who have no dog in the fight are running their mouths. I keep hearing this “Asian men don’t want you!” statement from people… but I certainly haven’t heard that from Asian men. I have heard it most stridently and most frequently from black women, oddly enough. Seeing as I started dating Asian guys in high school ( a million years ago lol) I have more than enough evidence to prove that assertion false. My first marriage yielded three blasian kids, and yet people still want to insist that Asian men don’t want me. It’s crazy. Do they think I got these kids from amazon dot com or something?
My Korean ex-boyfriend was ready to end the relationship at one point when I told him I planned to move into the International dorm at college, which was about 40% Asian students. In his mind, the relationship couldn’t last with so many Asian men around me! IF Asian guys were not attracted to black women (like me), then why was he just so pressed to keep me away from other Asian guys? Hmm? And KrisE’s post about the Korean guy she dated had a similar experience- he wanted her to stay out of Koreatown, because there are too many Korean guys there! Obviously these Asian men have insider knowledge of what other Asian men think about us, and they know that there are plenty of Asian men ready willing and able to scoop up a beautiful black woman.
If black women were just that undesirable, WHY would there be articles every 15 minutes about who we date? WHY would the whole world be so obsessed with discussing the issue? I’m not going to let these haters stop me.
Yes, I am once again replying to my own comment lol. I just wanted to add something to my previous rant. In discussing this issue with an Asian-American guy, another angle of the AM/BW phenomenon came up.
For a long time, black women have not dated out at all. These days we like to think it’s because no other man except black men is willing to touch black women with a 40ft. barge pole. In the past, though, everyone and their mama KNEW this wasn’t true- older generations chose not to date out, out of solidarity with black men. Now that it’s become evident that this solidarity is misplaced, more black women are willing to date out.
White men have always always always wanted black women. This is an irrefutable FACT. Their access to us was limited NOT due to lack of white male interest but rather due to lack of black female willingness. (Black women who have been brainwashed that they are uniquely hideous and gross will tell you otherwise… but ask your grandma if white men like black women. She’ll tell you all about it.)
For a white man to see black women dating out makes them happy- now they can finally get a taste of chocolate, hooray! But wait… what’s this? The “inferior and asexual” ASIAN man is getting it? Instead of and preferred over the “superior” white man??? That is what is messing with people’s heads. For black women to step over and around white men in favor of Asian men goes against the “natural order” in which white partners are held as the #1 choice. That’s the whole heart of the negative reactions right there.