Can You Really Handle a Femme Asian Man?

Ever since I fell for Kim Heechul of Super Junior about 2 weeks ago or so I’ve been wondering about something. You know how most of our Idols act very femme and uhh suspect? They openly express their love of the color pink (Heechul) Hello Kitty (Jae Joong) carry around journals with smiling teddy bears (Mir). Many of them have girly stuffed animals littered around their dorm apartments and on their beds. They get as excited as any girl over really cute things. They even worry about being seen on camera without their “makeup”. I mean I was watching some reality show with MBLAQ and freakin Mir and Lee Joon are sitting there holding hands like they were all coupled up.

I get that a lot of it is culture but they are soooo different from the guys we’re use to so I’m wondering if you all are accepting this because they are Asian men and Asian Idols on top of that? Would all that femme acting fly over here? (Uh I’m not saying EVERY Asian guy acts this way, but I’m just referring to those who do) I personally like it a lot. I like the idea of having a pretty boyfriend who gets just as excited as I do over cute things. I feel like it would deepen our bond; we could go shopping together and really be each others best friends. Seriously though I look at all the guys videos and their clothes and think “Oh that’s so cute I gotta pick that top up or those pants would look so good on me!!” I was in a store earlier today in the juniors section and got really excited to find a sweater that looked JUST LIKE Taemins top in the “Hello” MV; you know the black sweater with the sparkles on it and he paired it with black leather skinny pants! (Ok small confession I do tend to dress and style myself like an Idol because its hot so whatevs to the haterz! ^_^ )

Anyway would you be able to actually handle if the Asian man you fall for turns out to be just as femme or more so than your favorite Idols?

K-Kisses! KrisE (Personal KPOP Radio: T-MAX ‘Paradise’)


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24 thoughts on “Can You Really Handle a Femme Asian Man?

  1. As long as were not fighting over who looks cuter in hello kitty sweater, I can deal with it ^^. I tend to prefer cute guys over super manly ones anyways

    • hahaha “hello kitty sweater” wth?! lol Although I do rock festive christmas sweaters around the holidays and buy everyone I know one so yeah I shouldnt laugh haha

  2. The Asian young men here in the United States I had friendships with didn’t display any femme qualities; only their manly side. Honestly, I desire an man in every sense of the word. I have no problem with people being his or her self; yet, if a man truly desires a man and later decides he wants woman or a wife, how can a woman truly compete with a man truly. Yes, I’m aware that sex is considered a sport as well, but there is something missing that women don’t have, a man if feels he wants soda instead of just the joy of it. Yes, I’m aware some men like both men and women, but between the two which one will he rather have in the end. Sadly more often then not men decide in the end a women isn’t what he wanted between the too, but thank for the please and for some the children. I don’t want to give myself to man whom already knows believe it or not, he truly only wants a man. Yet, it doesn’t matter in my situation, because I haven’t been in a relationship of any kind sense 2009, it’s my choice. I freak out when theres pressure of marriage or having another baby at my age. Jaejoong, maybe thinking of a certain person as for his reason for keeping such items with his journal; only he know if it’s a female or male truly on his mind. Djinn within your Djinn

    • I can relete to what you’re saying. And I can’t see myself with someone that is more woman than me. To each his own, I personally to do not have anything against men who do. It’s OK for a man to take some pride in how they look, but when you’re spending way more time in the mirror than me and using my make up, it’s on.

  3. It’s funny because “Key” from SHINee comes to my mind as acting feminine and liking pink stuff but I like him a lot anyway because he’s sexy and smooth with women. On “Hello Baby”, those noonas loved him because he made them feel like a lady. Maybe because he could identify… lol

    Anyway, I’m not very feminine myself so I guess I wouldn’t mind my Asian boyfriend being that way if I really, really liked him.

      • Key is the only femme idol I’ve seen that actually gives me pause and pings me. My bestie is a gayboy BFF from way back. She has hung out with more drag queens and gay men than I can count and Key pings her too, and it’s NOT how he looks, it’s his attitude and behavior. He has bitchy diva queen written all over him. I could be wrong. I don’t know the guy and if he is gay, I wish him the best because being gay in Asia is a hard row to hoe.

  4. I want a man in every sense of the word. It’s ok to get excited sometimes about cute items and products, but how some of them get excited makes me laugh. I dont think that I could handle my boyfriend acting fem. On the other hand we could definitively be friends… new shopping buddies.

  5. If that’s what they like, then let it be. But for me, I prefer real men. Manly men. Someone that loves to drink beer, watch violent sports, and is a gym buff. 🙂 And looks like they belong on the cover of GQ, Esquire, Men’s Health and Men’s Fitness.

    • @nicole, I’m with you on this one, and the Korean and Chinese men I know, do not act like this. I first noticed this type of behavior when I was watching a youtube video of MBLAQ’s MIR & JOON and even though there were some negative comments, I didnt care cause i thought it was cute and I also thought it was just those two.. But then as I got deeper into KPOP, i noticed a lot more groups doing it, but because I enjoyed the music so much, I just thought it was part of the Korean culture and went with the flow..Although I enjoy watching it, I personally couldnt be with a man like that because my own personality can sometimes be too much for a manly man to handle let alone a femme man!! 🙂

  6. I dont mind the manly im a “guys guy” type, but I find the femme types much more appealing. I think it has to do with being comfortable with your sexuality; at least thats how I see it when I watch them act that way. I personally feel life is so much fun when you dont worry about what others think of you or concern yourself with the stereotyped expectations of your gender. I mean G DRAGON is the only rapper I know who could take photo looking like hes about to punch you while wearing a full face of makeup lol

  7. As a rule, femme guys don’t do it for me…but there are exceptions. 9 times out of 10, I like guys that are manly and “beastly”. I guess that’s why I like Bi and 2PM so much.

    • Bitofabelly81,

      i’m with you. While I do appreciate a “pretty man”, femme guys don’t do it for me either. Although, my daughter and her friends LOVE the femme idols, so maybe it’s a teen thing : ).

  8. Not my thing. I’ve dated quite a few Asian guys and honestly don’t think I’ve really even met a “femme” guy, even in Japan. Not even the “host club” types seemed follow these styles. And like it’s been mentioned in the states it doesn’t seem that popular at all. But who knows, maybe it’s more regional? Definitely not big in the DC/VA/MD area. ::shrugs:: Either way, I also prefer for my guys to look like guys.

  9. I don’t think that I would want a man that look more like a woman than me,nor would want him to seem that way. Even though these guys ( Mir and Joon) was doing this one TV.. I don’t know if I would be comfortable with a man doing that in real life.I may tolerate looks a little because some men cannot help the way they look,but personality wise..that is another story.

  10. I don’t want him being able to throw on a wig and pass as a female. i want there to be no doubt in my mind that he is all man. I have dated guys who like shopping and putting outfits together and can even watch musicals, but they never gave any doubt. I don’t even mind the “relationship” that the idols have. If you notice it is normally the younger ones who will be all hugged up on each other. The older idols might have no problem hugging each other and occasionally patting someone on the leg, back, etc but that is normally where it ends.

  11. This comment is late to the game but here goes. I have no problem with it at all, however, so much of what these guys do is tailored specifically to their fans. Fan-service is a big deal in Asia. They latch on very quickly to what makes girls squeal an because it is their job they will(or their company will direct them to)aim to give their fans what they want.

    I’ll use DBSK as a example since they are pretty much known by everyone who loves K-Pop. When they were five, fangirls latched on to the idea that Jae and Yunho were super-sekrit lovers. SM was obviously quick to pick up on that and it wasn’t long before Yunho and Jae went from being obviously comfortable with each other to being nearly in each others laps all the time.

    DBSK splitting was horrible and traumatic and YunJae fangirls the world over are still crying.

    Never fear. SM will fix it. Poor Changmin is now being subjected to obviously relationship oriented photo-shoots. Some of them are so cheesy that they coming off looking like the covers for soft-core gay porn made for women or the covers of boylove mangas. Really, Yungo and Changmin lounging in open shirts, hands touching, on a bed of roses, in a dimly lit room? Changmin lounging on a rumpled bed as Yunho’s face looks soulfully into the camera from its place in Changmin’s lap. Their photoshoot from Europe seriously looked like they were a couple on their honeymoon.

    While Jae was comfortable being touchy-feely with Yunho and going with the flow(which seems to come easily for Jae. He honestly seems to like being physically closer to people he likes and so does Yunho) Changmin is very vocal about not liking it, going so far as to express his confusion and say himself that he doesn’t understand why their photoshoots are so strange. He might just as well shout NO-HOMO randomly during an interview. He feels the need to constantly remind people that although he and Yunho are close, they are not close like that. It’s really kind of cute, his discomfort. You keep doing your thing Changmin. I love your snarky, surly, honest self.

    SM’s efforts have worked. The amount of fan-fic involving Yunho and Changmin has gone up exponentially. Homin is crazy popular.

    For the average, non-idol guy I think that it is natually learned response and behavior. You get in trouble, make a cute face and presto, Mom or Sis not so pissed off any more. You want your girlfriend to make you lunch and/or feed you, make a cute face and BLAM insta-food. Want attention? Wear a pink HelloKitty track suit and watch the girls flock to you and pet you and tell you how cute you are, as you thumb your nose at the jocks as if to say, “Gay? Who is standing in a crowd of women, being groped and who is sweaty and alone, holding a soccer-ball?”

      • He really is something else with his cock-eyed glares and his side-eyeing Yunho. His comments to fans really crack me up. He never fails to say something snappy or take someone down a peg. And that chest and those legs. I swear, if the anger of the law-suit made him take up boxing and it did that for him then amen for angry Changmin. Yunho looks solid(although some people say that he is PAINFULLY thin in person-Ican only imagine what the waifish ones look like)and if he winces when Changmin hits him, Changmin isn’t playing and he packs a mean punch.

  12. oh hell naw. Nope cant do it. Thats why I love Rain. He’s buff manly tall slender sexy….JUST WHAT THE DOCTOR ORDERED! He’s the reason I found out about kpop so I didnt see the femme male thing until I started listening to kpop. Because I was only rocking Rainism and Back to the Basic cds for a while. Then i found out about taeyang (whos actually quite manly) and tvxq ect. SO I like em ALL MAN! lol but Bi has had his femme moments. I actullly crenge when he has to be femme for cfs and stuff because I know hes sooo masculine and sexy and they are making him act like a wuss sometimes. ex. Samsung Life Insurance cf’s from 2010. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TwONtkZp4E0 or the dance from his new Coupang commercials. Now hes crazi funny in them but the dance has GOT TO FREAKIN GO!

    • @pinkfashionninja: uuuh yeah you and me both! My guy has to look like a man, walk like a man, dress like a man, etc…and Bi is the ultimate example of that! I saw that Coupang commercial though…he is so good at acting cute!

  13. Yes yes AND YES. I find it very cute/adorable/kawaii ect. Im tomboish lol…(reversed much) if I met some as fashionable as GD or as cute as Taemin or Jaejoongie, might make me more into girl stuff… X3

  14. I know I’m late here lol but I just have to add my two cents. I’m NOT into men who look or act like women. Now, it’s one thing if his physical features are “pretty” like many of the idols have. Look at my SHINee bias Onew. He is physically beautiful! Sometimes they have him posing kinda gay but I get the sense that he is straight. He has a gorgeous body but he’s still manly.

    It’s a whole nother ball of wax when a man has a gay personality, like Key. I love Key but he and I could never work due to irreconcilable similarities: we both love MEN. We could shop and compare makeup technique but that’s about it.

    Frankly I find the homoerotic stuff to be the most unsettling aspect of Kpop. I am not turned on by it, my stomach churns in response. I am a woman- how is the thought of two dudes bumping uglies supposed to turn me on? What part of the game is that? NO, thanks.

    And, as said above, that’s one of the reasons I love Bi. He is a MAN, through and through, no two ways about it. Even with those odd fake eyelashes they put on him he still looked 150% manly.

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