Real Asian Men Dont Come with English Subtitles Part IV The Final Episode

New reader? Catch up on Parts 1 -3 here…

Have you ever felt like you were having a total out-of-body experience? One of those days where you were just walking thru life seeing all the activities going on even participating in them but not really feeling the effects of them?

Thats how I would describe this entire experience with this guy. Maybe it was because I knew I would be telling you all about it that I observed more than I “felt”. The only thing I felt was the shock of him telling me he loved me that night. It was way too much especially since it was only our 2nd date! What could I do?! What could I even say to that?! He had really put me in an awkward position.

Of course I freaked out right there on the street and literally screamed, not really screamed but it was louder than my usual conversation voice “WHAT DO YOU MEANNNN YOU LOVE ME! YOU BARELY KNOW ME!!!! Now I usually consider my life somewhat similar to the Twilight Zone where nothing in it really makes sense and I over the years have come to terms with that, but this just really threw me! He literally stood there and made mee seem like I was the crazy one. According to him what was the big deal? He loves me that’s how he feels so I should just accept and go along with it. What the Frek!? And then to make matters worse he hugged me and finally I understood that weird ass K-Drama one-sided hug! You know where the guy hugs the girl and she just stands there frozen with her arms to the side while he’s just oozing with emotion?! I totally did just that. So um obviously the parting wasnt that smooth and I went home totally unsure about everything. Of course he sent me texts that night and the next morning I was just angry.

I was so angry and frustrated because this wasnt what I wanted. Why was he ignoring my requests for friendship?? Why wasnt he considering he still had feelings for his ex girlfriend he hadn’t seen in 8 months?? And why does this have to be such a K-DRAMA?! Instead of me playing the role as “the other girl” why couldn’t it be a normal love triangle where I the lead girl got to choose from 2 hot guys?! I was sooo over this, it wasnt fun anymore, it was just annoying me. That night on the phone he was soo happy and couldn’t stop talking about our date and how much he missed me blah, blah, gush gush.

I on the other hand had a miserable tone, was totally uninterested in his conversation and he called me out on it. What a strange moment; here I was on the phone with a good-looking FOB Korean guy who totally adored me, who yes I did like to an extent but was just uninterested in. He told me to go to sleep and that I’d feel better in the morning and have more reasonable thoughts -_- Noo but ok fine I went to bed and the next day was the ending. I suppose my reaction and rejection of his feelings got him thinking about his ex in Korea and on the phone he asked if we could just be friends because he missed her. I said fine and hung up but found myself crying for maybe just 2 minutes (literally). I wasnt sad that it was over so quickly I was more like totally pissed off how careless he was with words. It was tooo easy for him to say he just wanted to be friends you know what I mean? Plus there was that whole “entitlement” part of his personality that really set me off. Do you know after he said he wanted to be friends he had the NERVE to say he still wanted to see me because he’s really happy when he’s with me!

Look here’s the thing and I’ve mentioned it before; him and I share the same friends back in Korea so it’s not like I’ll never see him again but he really lost my trust. Like is your nickname Jekyll and Hyde?! How is it one day you supposedly love me and the next you are tooo cool about being just friends? How exactly does that work? It would have been a lot better if he would have just agreed with me from the beginning that he was still into his ex instead of trying so hard to convince me otherwise. Good thing I’m way toooo much of a player myself to fall for that nonsense ^_^

Anywayz these days we don’t talk much although every so often like once or twice a week he will call or text asking to see me and I always decline. Although I’ll see him around in Korea because of our friends I don’t feel the need to see him while he’s here. He deserves to be ignored and you know why? Because a guy I don’t care who he is, how he looks,or how you feel about him; he cannot just say whatever he wants and play with your emotions. Had I actually “liked” this guy and wanted to be with him I would have totally been crushed. So no he doesnt deserve to hang with me or even have an actual conversation with me until I decide he’s worth associating with. Instead I’m thinking about the next guy who I want. This time even cuter more flower boy than beast Idol because I’m more attracted to that look and of course who comes totally single and ready to mingle! ^_^

K-Kisses! KrisE ( Personal KPOP Radio: Aziatix ‘GO’)

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18 thoughts on “Real Asian Men Dont Come with English Subtitles Part IV The Final Episode

  1. Well, I’m sorry things seemed to have ended as fast as they began. But you’re right for wanting instead to be with a guy who has no emotional baggage. Good thing there’s plenty of hot Korean guys on ‘the buffet’ to try.

    Ok so its not just me who noticed the “one-sided K-drama hugs”. Why do the girls do that? If my sexy Korean boyfriend threw his arms around me, I’m hugging him back.

    Great post!

  2. @Choi Min Jung: Laws, it’s not just the stiff hugs, it’s the stilted, unmoving fish-lips kissing too. I think it’s just cultural to make the heroine as pristine, innocent and inexperienced as possible.

    @KrisE: I don’t know if he’s all that wishy-washy; it sounded like he really enjoyed being around you. He may have been trying to recover his cool and save face. He’d be really slow not to have noticed the vibe on the phone and you even said he called you on it. After he hung up, he may have had time to think and realise that if he pushed you far enough, you would ditch him and he decided to do it before you could. The ex-girlfriend would be the most obvious way to do it in a way that, in his mind, put the blame on him.

    • Plinkin,

      That’s a good point about the whole innocent girl thing but I’ve noticed the dramas that feature a romance between an older woman & younger man, the older woman shows a little more passion & isn’t afraid to show her emotions towards the guy….

      • This is true and it would make total sense for an older women to be more experienced and have more confidence in herself and what she is doing, be it work or play. I really enjoy the older woman/younger man scenario, for obvious reasons.

      • Wow! It’s refreshing to find someone else who enjoys older woman/younger man romances like I do. I’ve read that these kind of relationships are increasing in real life over in Korea.

        If you haven’t seen it already, Choi Siwon starred in “Oh My Lady” last year playing an actor in love with an older woman & right now he’s in “Poiseidon” with a love interest a little older than him 🙂

  3. Omg that was like a whole kdrama episode lol. Anywho goo thing you ignore him bc if he may try something diff and more extreme or something lol.

  4. All I can say is wow. It does read like a drama, but at the end of the day this is real life. Im glad that you didnt have real feelings for this guy, because of the flip flop he just pulled. Like somebody said maybe he’s tryna save face and like spending time with you,however either way, Im glad you have a good head on your shoulders and can see through the nonsense. I felt bad that he made you cry. (Im an emotional person by nature. Zodiac: Cancer) Krise, I defiantly get the irritation felt dealing with a guy who has entitlement issues. Trust me, Ive been there and gladly eliminated him. I like your attitude. On to the next, (I got that Jay Z song playing).

    • Well according to my sign “Scorpio” I’m a total emotional nutcase lol But you shouldnt feel bad. I didnt cry becsause I was hurt by him, I cried because it was frustrating and annoying how he had to ruin our friendship. If he would have just listened to me from the start we would still be on good terms. But nope he didnt and now hes gonna suffer Kdrama style when I get to Korea. You know the whole date another guy and bring him to hang out with friends and watch as the first guy gets extremely irritated and jealous. Soo childish but just the thought makes me smile ^_^

      • I know the tears were from the frustration, but somehow I tap into other peoples emotions. I know t’s kinda weird, but it’s a quality Ive had since I was a kid. Like if one of my friends are crying I start to tear up. Ive gotten better at controlling it over the years..

        LMAFO, the k drama style comment. It’ll work. Just go ahead and rub it in. I’ll be all like, this is my type and Im so glad u (junsu, look alike) that we could be just friends. because this guy is the man of my dreams. You know you gotta ham it up… Good luck Krise.

      • “Well according to my sign “Scorpio” I’m a total emotional nutcase lol”

        @KrisE,

        I knew that there was something that I iked about you. My hubby is Scorpio and he puts the “tense” in intense : ). Yes, Scorpios are intense and emotional creatures but life is never dull with a Scorpio. LOL!

  5. I’m sorry you got so frustrated with the situation that you shed some tears over it. Boys/Men/Guys are stupid and fob’s are no different. Maybe this guy thought that he could sort of push you into submission or into the type of girl he was used to. When you were clear about the whole not interested in that type of relationship, he decided to move on? I don’t know, I am no Doctor Phil but I am glad that you are feeling better and are ready to mingle. The New Year is coming up so who knows? Might be an even more handsome person will come your way. One who doesn’t mind just hanging out and chilling.

  6. Plimpkin Choi,and Sukura said it best.

    Thankfully, you didn’t get totally into this guy. ” Junsu” seemed like he just wanted some company in the states. He may have dumped his girlfriend,but he wasn’t over her..if there is history with them( which seemed like the case with him) you just don’t get over that in two minutes.Initially, I didn’t have good feelings about the whole thing,but I just thought because he seemed too clingy and pushy.

    You also said it best: “Had I actually ” liked “this guy and wanted to be with him, I would have been totally been crushed”. That would have been absolutely true. Now you can breathe a sigh of relief and continue to enjoy you life as you have been doing before him.

  7. (KrisE) I’m glad you got out before you got your heart crushed as you said. You live in NYC, right? There are too many hot FOB Korean guys in that area for you to even stress for more than a nanosecond over Junsu. His story just wasn’t adding up. He still loved his ex, then he was over her, then he loved you, now he misses her. It’s just ridic. On to the next!

    As you said, a Flower Boy this time! You are still young and cute, you do NOT need to compromise or deal with a guy who doesn’t check EVERY box for you!

    I was doing some googling, and the NY/NJ area has more Koreans than any area on earth outside of Korea. You really don’t need to sweat over Junsu at ALL because there are soooo many guys like him or better than him in Koreatown right now! And there aren’t very many beautiful young American girls in the area like you who are interested in foreign-born Asian men (apart from our fellow BWLB posters of course) so really you don’t need to settle at ALL.

    I totally look forward to you posting about a great guy who meets all of your criteria, who treats you the way you deserve, and who could be Bi’s clone!

    Happy 2012!

    • Ehh in real time this happened over 2 weeks ago and I wasnt looking to check boxes ^_^ I was looking to have fun. I’m moving to Korea so it doesnt make sense for me to have a relationship with anyone now. Basically my choices are to either stay single, just date for fun, or date a Korean guy who is only here temp and then going back to Korea. However he would have to be here for a year or so because I’m not moving for another year and a half and I dont do long distance. Besides I would rather be single considering when I move there I’ll have way tooo many options!
      BTW KTown is pretty lame in NYC. Its only 1 block, I go there a lot since school is only a few blocks from there. Some of the guys are hot but its much better in the East Village which is NYU territory. Sooo many hot Korean guys in the East Village! Especially at the ST. Marks Starbucks OMG. Dont worry I’m always surrounded by Asians.
      Bi’s clone hmm? lol No thanks, hes cool and cute but not totally my type. My ideal guys are Kim Hyun Joong and Jae Joong they are so pretty and perfect!
      Happy Holidays!

  8. One thing I learned is that timing is everything. Some people come into your life for a season just to teach you things so you can learn from them and not make the same mistake twice. While I can hypothesize that most men are not going to measure up to Bi (as we all secretly wish), who is cut from a different cloth from a material that I have never seen, there are some good Asian guys out there, somewhere. When the time is right, you will meet the one who is right for you.

  9. I think we all knew it woud end, he was just looking for some side action and thought he’d test his player skillz. No matter where he hails from, men are men and share the same general mentality imo. This is a very interesting observation though, always keep an eye on those red flags 8D! Don’t be any man’s little something extra on the side~

  10. Imma keep it real it wasn’t all his fault. This is a classic case of bad communication & fail to know a person. I think he liked u a lot & felt a deep connection. The only issue u didn’t feel the same from the start but convince urself. Try to see if from his point view but also his cultrue. 1)had same type of friends+(2)u were open to date him++(3)u know about korean culture+++ What happen u guys had a false ideal of each other. He saw u as his someone to fill in the void & could accept him. His loneliness made him desperate & possessive. U seem to passive or to self bother. U both were building a connection base on “ideals” of one another but not actual reality. Even when u found about his ex ur reaction was aggressive but in that moment u were honest. That is what u need to be; honest about ur emotion & intentions. U both fail doing that w/one another. As i say best thing u can be to a man is honest. Tell him flat out u just wanna date; just want sex or relationship. U r what u f*#k

    • Latina,

      Totally wrong but nice try..really. I think if you read 1-3 you will actually see how honest and open I was with him and prove your analysis wrong. His possesive behavior is actually a norm in the Korean culture also something that was talked about in series 1-3 along with everything else you mentioned o_0

      I find it interesting how everyone interprets situations differently…its entertaining, however I was debating deleting your comment based on your parting words “U r what u f*#k”

      Although it made me laugh because I have a messed up sense of humor; Its inapproriate for this blog. Its disrespectful and lets be honest here it didnt add anything but a moment of confused shock value.

      Even though I totally disagree w your opinion I can see you actually took a moment to think about it and write which is why I’m leaving it up.

      Next time please read the commenting rules before posting.

      K-Kisses! KrisE

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