Have you ever felt like you were having a total out-of-body experience? One of those days where you were just walking thru life seeing all the activities going on even participating in them but not really feeling the effects of them?
Thats how I would describe this entire experience with this guy. Maybe it was because I knew I would be telling you all about it that I observed more than I “felt”. The only thing I felt was the shock of him telling me he loved me that night. It was way too much especially since it was only our 2nd date! What could I do?! What could I even say to that?! He had really put me in an awkward position.
Of course I freaked out right there on the street and literally screamed, not really screamed but it was louder than my usual conversation voice “WHAT DO YOU MEANNNN YOU LOVE ME! YOU BARELY KNOW ME!!!! Now I usually consider my life somewhat similar to the Twilight Zone where nothing in it really makes sense and I over the years have come to terms with that, but this just really threw me! He literally stood there and made mee seem like I was the crazy one. According to him what was the big deal? He loves me that’s how he feels so I should just accept and go along with it. What the Frek!? And then to make matters worse he hugged me and finally I understood that weird ass K-Drama one-sided hug! You know where the guy hugs the girl and she just stands there frozen with her arms to the side while he’s just oozing with emotion?! I totally did just that. So um obviously the parting wasnt that smooth and I went home totally unsure about everything. Of course he sent me texts that night and the next morning I was just angry.
I was so angry and frustrated because this wasnt what I wanted. Why was he ignoring my requests for friendship?? Why wasnt he considering he still had feelings for his ex girlfriend he hadn’t seen in 8 months?? And why does this have to be such a K-DRAMA?! Instead of me playing the role as “the other girl” why couldn’t it be a normal love triangle where I the lead girl got to choose from 2 hot guys?! I was sooo over this, it wasnt fun anymore, it was just annoying me. That night on the phone he was soo happy and couldn’t stop talking about our date and how much he missed me blah, blah, gush gush.
I on the other hand had a miserable tone, was totally uninterested in his conversation and he called me out on it. What a strange moment; here I was on the phone with a good-looking FOB Korean guy who totally adored me, who yes I did like to an extent but was just uninterested in. He told me to go to sleep and that I’d feel better in the morning and have more reasonable thoughts -_- Noo but ok fine I went to bed and the next day was the ending. I suppose my reaction and rejection of his feelings got him thinking about his ex in Korea and on the phone he asked if we could just be friends because he missed her. I said fine and hung up but found myself crying for maybe just 2 minutes (literally). I wasnt sad that it was over so quickly I was more like totally pissed off how careless he was with words. It was tooo easy for him to say he just wanted to be friends you know what I mean? Plus there was that whole “entitlement” part of his personality that really set me off. Do you know after he said he wanted to be friends he had the NERVE to say he still wanted to see me because he’s really happy when he’s with me!
Look here’s the thing and I’ve mentioned it before; him and I share the same friends back in Korea so it’s not like I’ll never see him again but he really lost my trust. Like is your nickname Jekyll and Hyde?! How is it one day you supposedly love me and the next you are tooo cool about being just friends? How exactly does that work? It would have been a lot better if he would have just agreed with me from the beginning that he was still into his ex instead of trying so hard to convince me otherwise. Good thing I’m way toooo much of a player myself to fall for that nonsense ^_^
Anywayz these days we don’t talk much although every so often like once or twice a week he will call or text asking to see me and I always decline. Although I’ll see him around in Korea because of our friends I don’t feel the need to see him while he’s here. He deserves to be ignored and you know why? Because a guy I don’t care who he is, how he looks,or how you feel about him; he cannot just say whatever he wants and play with your emotions. Had I actually “liked” this guy and wanted to be with him I would have totally been crushed. So no he doesnt deserve to hang with me or even have an actual conversation with me until I decide he’s worth associating with. Instead I’m thinking about the next guy who I want. This time even cuter more flower boy than beast Idol because I’m more attracted to that look and of course who comes totally single and ready to mingle! ^_^
K-Kisses! KrisE ( Personal KPOP Radio: Aziatix ‘GO’)
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