Are You Really an Equal Opportunity Dater?

 I’ve seriously lost my mind. It’s totally gone, I see it running down the street and OMO! It’s totally out of view..Oh wellll. LOOK! I’ve just been pushed over the edge by the HOTTEST fan appreciation video ever created which b.t.w inspired this post! I know many of you out there are all like “Oh I love Asian guys but I’m all about equal opportunity blah, blah” Whatevs! I spend waayy too much time fangirling out and focusing on Asians to even glance in another direction. I’m being serious here and I want you all to be open to what I’m about to say.

I personally adore the look of Asians so much that no one else even compares. There’s no way I’m gonna sit here and say I’m all about equal opportunity when I know for shizzle that if I’m with a non-Asian, I’m gonna be looking for and wanting an Asian guy instead. Besides, how can I lay snuggled in my bed at night watching gorgeous Asian leading men and wake up to songs sung by gorgeous Asian Idols and then hang with someone who is not the object of my desire? Isnt that doing a serious injustice to myself and to the guy? Plus I’m a pretty shallow person (I’m totally content with being this way) and the way I see it; being mixed myself and then tossing in some Asian flavor would give me pretty doll looking children and since I adore anything “pretty” and “doll-like” it only makes sense to think this way. This is true when I say the moment I got hooked on Korean culture and Korean guys I dropped the guys I was dating real quick  because they were no longer interesting or attractive to me.

Now I’m trying to figure out why some of you are all about equality. Obviously there are those who literally just appreciate Asian guys and culture and that’s totally cool. Maybe some of you live in an area where the odds of spotting an Asian are similar to spotting a UFO. But what about the rest of you? I seriously cant be the only one…riiight? 0_o

Oh and the video that made me spaz was of my precious Alien looking pet Jae Joong. Just watch the video and try to remember to breathe.

K-Kisses! KrisE (Personal KPOP Radio: DBSK ‘Balloons’)

Want to be totally connected to us and in the know? Follow BWLB on Twitter at http://twitter.com/#!/blackwomenloveb and you can catch me at:  http://twitter.com/#!/K_Kisses_KrisE


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22 thoughts on “Are You Really an Equal Opportunity Dater?

  1. Oh my God! It’s like you read my mind….

    No, you’re not the only one. I think Asians are beautiful too, which is why I still don’t get their whole obsession with double-eyelid surgery. Anyway, I thought I was the only one who felt this way. I mean, I guess I use to be an equal opportunity person but I was telling a friend of mine a few days ago how much I’ve had a special admiration for Asian guys since I was a kid. I see your point though….how can Asian men be the object of your affection and the men you see in your dreams but then go date a non-Asian? Yeah, I get it.

    I do think there are gorgeous men in every culture. I happen to like Australian guys…..which is the only reason why I watch the new “Hawaii Five-0”. And I won’t lie when I say the main reason I’m an ice hockey fan is because I think Canadian guys are hot!! Or at least they can be. But…..there’s no one like Asian guys. Just my opinion, I hope I won’t get crucified or chastised for saying that.

    I know I’ve sounded like a broken record on this blog when I say this but just the way Asian men carry themselves, the way they walk and talk….. They have this natural charisma in their demeanor and depending on how and where they were raised, they have this level of self-control that I actually envy. At least, these are the traits I’ve seen in the Asian men I’ve dealt with. I’m sure there are exceptions out there…..

    Now if only Korean guys on the K-dramas will stop wearing bangs, then I’ll be happy. Bangs are for girls. I can take Korean guys wearing make-up or kissing on their fellow male musicians or even carrying a man-purse but please remove the clumps of hair from your face so I can actually see your face.

    lolol I don’t think being shallow is a good thing, yet I don’t blame you for being so. Oh well…….

    • Aww the bangs are cute, and actually for alot of the styles they wear the bangs are part of the standard cut or else the styles wont work. Oh and being shallow can be a very good thing depending on how you look at it lolol

      • @KrisE Yeah, I know the fans love the bangs on guys but its so distracting to me. I’m watching a K-drama called “My Bittersweet Life” with Jay Kim from the group TRAXX and also Choi Min Sung is on the show……. they are both so good looking but I can only see half of their face because of the clump of hair covering up their foreheads. I was so happy when Choi Siwon wore his hair off of his face for most of “Oh My Lady”.

        I guess some guys can wear bangs better than others.

        I guess being shallow and going by looks just sounds bad or politically incorrect but like I said, I don’t blame you for being so …….not one bit.

      • Choi,
        I tried to be a normal person at one point. You know dating people based on their personality and not because of their looks.Let me tell you it was one of the hardest things I’ve ever subjected myself too and the most annoying. Do you have any idea what its like being in a constant battle with yourself? I would be on a date and be thinking “Oh this guy is interesting but he would look so much better with a nose job or if he shaped his brows alittle”. I have focus issues as it is and I would get distracted by better looking guys around me and totally zone out when my date was talking. It would really frustrate me and I am not a very nice pecson when I’m frustrated or annoyed so I decided that I would always go for looks first followed by personality. No reason to mess up my zenned out head space with avoidable nonsense.

      • KrisE,

        Even though some outwardly beautiful people can be so ugly on the inside, I see your point. I guess I can be a bit shallow too because as much as I love Onew and Cho Kyuhyun’s voices…I guess it was their gorgeous faces that attracted me first.

        I’ve heard of people falling in ‘love at first sight’ but I don’t think I’ve heard of anyone falling in ‘love at first personality’. It would just be a dream come true to fall in love with someone who was beautiful inside ……and out.

  2. Haha great post! However, I am a total equal opportunity dater! I just love men! True, Asian men are my preference but I am attracted to all types of guys. There are so many looks that do it for me, I can’t honestly say that I am only attracted to Asian men. But they are definitely at the top of the list if I had to choose!

  3. Having dated the rainbow, I prefer an Asians. I have not dated Japanese or Korean, I have dated several Chinese. I think because I know the culture and can speak the language. Where I live mainly there is not a large Asian population. So to get my Asian on, I spend alot of time either in Flushing or Chinatown in NY. I feel good about my own skin, but I really feel comfortable around Asians. I was born in Japan, lived there when I was very young, and when we moved back to the States, our home was filled with Asian things. Imagine, living in the south and eating with chopsticks during the 60’s. My Asian friends tell me that I’m more Asian than they are.

  4. I love hot men all around. The men I seem to find hot aren’t always what’s considered mainstream attractive, but as long as I think they’re hot, it’s all good. It usually has to do with personality and looks combined, but usually you get reeled in first by the looks. It sucks, but that’s how attraction usually works.

    You do your thing. If an Asian man is what you want, you go for it, just be aware that love is sneaky. None of the men I went out with were “my type” aka adrogenous, tall, willowly, pale with black hair, eye-liner wearing pretty boy. Even my husband. I fell in love with a blonde, hazel-eye, barrel chested, built like a wall former high school quarterback. I didn’t fall in love with him for his looks. We had so much in common that we were already best friends and were so comfortable with each other that it was only logical that we try sleeping together. What I am physically attracted to and what I end up falling in love with seems to be run more by my brain than my eyes and I think it works that way for most people.

    But I get what you’re saying. Do I ever feel cheated and did I ever look at him and think, “if only he looked like *insert hot guy*. I am not with my husband now and so I can do what I want. I am more than happy that I can try any flavor and color combo I want right now. When I was with him, I was so in love it didn’t matter. I do not ever call thinking of someone else when I was with him.

  5. Though the men in my life were Black, I’ve never limited myself to racial background of what the men have to be. I just let nature takes it course. If that man is a good man and just happens to be( Race) that is who I would want to date.I’m also thankful for my diverse upbringing as well. I don’t think that if I was raised like that, I wouldn’t have a great appreciation of other prefer to have that kind of life.

    To some people, to find Asian men to be attractive is anomaly,but why? If there are attractive men in other cultures, they are also in their culture. I’ve been attracted to several Asian men.If I see a good looking man,no matter what, I will look at them and Asian men are no exception. Recently, I was reminded of a hot physical therapist I soooo much wanted to date in my twenties.I’ll just call him ” Spencer”. Spence was my late great aunts home therapist. I just thought he could do no wrong.. wow. He was a good looking man..not only that he was a good person, who did his job very well.Apparently, I wasn’t the only one who thought that about him. It was my sister and my neighbor thinking the same thing. My neighbor was dating.My mom liked his worker,but scared that he would be a distraction( It wasn’t race related as she didn’t want me to go Spelman college out of fear that those Morehouse men would be the same.) Yeah.. she just didn’t know how much I wished I could have.

    I’m older. Other than wanting more sensible , concrete wishes from them, my thoughts of Asian and other races of men remains the same. It’s not the race that makes them good people,but it’s their way of thinking that makes their character. I will let nature take it’s course and see the kind of man will come through..

  6. Asian men seem to top my list (preferably East Asian), with Hispanic men coming in 2nd. Like I said before, I like men to be men. Nice face, nice bod, I don’t care if they drink beer, vodka, or whatever, likes sports, goes to the gym, very GQ/Esquire.

  7. I had never dated an Asian man until I met my future husband in college. Before him, my preference was always Hispanics but he definitely made me switch things up :). And while I don’t consider myself a shallow person (although some may beg to differ), his looks are what attracted me. But the way that he loves me and our kids, is what keeps me here! I personally believe that wherever you can find love, go for it. If the man treats you right, who cares what his race is : ).

  8. When I saw this post, it made me really think about whether I truly am an equal opportunity dater. And I have to say no, I’m not. Although I’ve had enough of Japanese guys to last me a lifetime (the ones around here act like they can’t handle me *eye rolling*,) but I’m still keeping my eyes open for Korean, Chinese, and Southeast Asian guys. Both of my exboyfriends were Black. The first one was clearly ugly, and I always wished he were an Asian guy. The second one was extremely handsome, and we got along very well. I remember he asked me if I wanted him to be Asian. “NOOOO don’t do that!” was my reply, and I meant it. But now? I have quite a strong stigma against Black guys because they usually annoy me, and White guys because they try to force their superiority on me. Most of my guy friends are Asian, and they treat me well, so of course I’d want to date an Asian guy!
    I came close to dating a Japanese guy I met about 2 weeks ago. He was extremely polite and nice to me and my friends, and he’s a 4th year medical student at a university not far from mine. But he hasn’t emailed me in about 2 weeks. I forgot about him after the 3rd day lol!
    Thanks for this post, KrisE. You’ve forced me to be honest with myself with my love for Asian guys. Thank you 😉

    • Very honest I like, but try not to judge or dislike a whole group of guys based on a few bad apples ^_^ Oh and dont bother with the med student especially a 4th year student. Thats the time when they are actually working and learning on site in the hospitals and are on call. One of my exs was a med student and the on call hours were crazy. He would be at the hospital for example from 6am monday morning till 12 in the afternoon the next day. My relationship was basically with my cell phone not him buttt thats another story. Anyway yay for TEAM ASIAN! haha

      • I’m still trying to keep my options open, and not judge other guys, but it’s so difficult when the ones I run into are assholes.

  9. Sadly, I am one of those women whose chances of seeing an Asian man is about as equal to the, very low, chances of anyone seeing a tiger just walking down the street randomly. They are few and far between for me. Really, whenever I do see them they are already with an Asian chick T-T. In a way, I’m like you- I do love Asian guys and really, REALLY do want one to call my own, but unless I pack up and move soon, that may not happen. It really breaks my heart :(. Physically, I find men of all races delicious to look at and would date any of them, but Asian men are my preference. If a guys gets with me then, as unfair as it is, he’ll just have to deal with my Asian obsession. If we break up, oh well. I still have my handsome oppas, senpais and kohais to ogle at!

    Truth, I’d like a cute little blasian baby! They are so cute! But I do have a son whose parents are both African American and he’s so cute still! Cute enough that most people said that at first glance they thought he was a girl for most of his life(a little girl with no hair, but a girl nonetheless. LOL) I love my son and wouldn’t trade him for the world. Not even for a million blasian babies. I’d still like to have a few of my own along with a sexy Asian man by my side, though.

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