“I’ll Only Look at You”: Striving to be the Apple of an Asian Guy’s Eye.

Have you ever heard that quote? “I’ll only look at you”…It’s been said over and over in various Kdramas. How it’s said varies. Sometimes the guy will forcefully grab the girl and scream “Look only at me!” or sometimes he’ll be gentle, get on one knee, gaze into her eyes and say in a soft uber romantic tone “from now on, I’ll only look at you”. We all know or at least I hope we all know kdramas are fantasies that pull perfectly at a woman’s heartstrings.But is your attraction to your favorite Idols and leading men beginning to change the outlook of your reality? Are Asian men now your only dating preference? How far are you going to snag one so that you too can one day be told “I’ll only look at you”?

whatthefrell says: October 4, 2011 at 9:49 pm

“They say I look really young for my age. You know… black don’t crack and all. These are friends that say that, it’s unsolicited, surely they can’t all be lying all the time;  I mean I’m never looking to get my ego boosted… although I do come across as a bit sad sometimes. If I do, it’s probably because I am incredibly immature.Well anyways, I am counting on that; ‘cuz when I do make it to Korea,I will be wanting to spend some time on K-pop row.I feel the younger everyone thinks I am, the less I’ll appear like a stalker. I’m allowed to pretend, right?”

Whatthefrell actually got me thinking and although she was referring to not looking like a stalker (lol b.t.w) it made me think about other stuff.  I can honestly say I’ve become hyperaware of the standards of beauty in Korea. Obviously to each their own when it comes to attraction but I feel it would be unrealistic to not consider Koreas beauty standards. Obviously I want an Idol to call my own ( Kim Hyun Joong, Jae Joong, Hyun Bin!!!) but I will happily accept a normal Korean guy who meets Idol look standards (Not apologizing for what I prefer and want). But what about that little voice! You know the one that questions your sanity and choices? The one that asks “will he really want youuu?” Better yet the thought of travelling to a country with such a different standard of beauty, how exactly will it be to walk down KPOP row? So my question is, are any of you out there thinking the same way? Are any of you taking any type of measures to attract an Asian guy or if not what do you think of the idea? I’ll let you all in on my world for a moment.

For starters I have been living on the treadmill. I slather on face creams and moisturizer. Every morning I paint my face to look flawless(although right now i have a bump on my cheek I swear some type of vicious creature bit me,aish!!!). I think of a doll at all times and dust my cheeks in rose-colored blush. I change my eye shape with skillfully applied false lashes and coat jet black mascara over them to give myself a wide-eyed appearance. I give my lips a flushed pink hue and dab just the right amount of tinted colored gloss on for a poutier look. I dye my hair jet black and carefully clip in 18-20 inch extensions. I enter society as a walking question mark. My ethnic background is for the most part undetectable and highly questionable.

For my trip to Korea I’ve decided on longer extensions, microdermabrasion, filler for the 3 fine lines under my eyes and a lip injection to have a poutier look. All this so I can look refreshed and younger looking than I do now. It may seem abit extreme to some, but for me it’s justs like shopping for new clothes.

Now let me be REAL clear here as clear as crystal. My routine is normal I’ve been doing it for years it has nothing to do with wanting to attract an Asian guy although I feel its coming in handy. Now the filler and all that other stuff which involves a trip to the world of plastic does, and I’m just being honest.

Now I’m sure everyone is thinking its the inside of a person that matters most and I agree. However lets not be completely in denial here; the way you look is the first thing anyone notices unless you’re being a total creeper and coming up behind someone yelling and they have no choice but to notice the nonsense spewing from your mouth. But do you think being women of color wanting an Asian guy, there’s this invisible added pressure to appear as appealing and put together as possible?

AHEM…Now that you’ve finished reading, this post may have come across as slightly shallow but at times I am very shallow so that I wont apologize for. What I will say is my discussion posts come from my thoughts and I don’t edit or sugar coat them ever. Whether or not you have seen Asians with women or color I don’t think it puts the insecure thoughts about acceptance to rest. So be free, open and honest and let me know your opinions!

K-Kisses! KrisE

129 thoughts on ““I’ll Only Look at You”: Striving to be the Apple of an Asian Guy’s Eye.

  1. I’d have to say since I’ve been here in Japan (although clearly Japan and Korea are NOT the same places lol!,) I’ve felt a load of pressure about my level of attractiveness. Back home in the US, I’m a size 3, and people (women and men) always tell me I’m so skinny. Here? I feel like an elephant in a room with a bunch of meerkats. I feel huge. It seems that for now, mostly all the Japanese guys at my university are only really attracted to Japanese women, or women of other Asian descent. There is ONE girl from France who’s dating a Korean guy here, but I’m not sure how long that’s going to last, since she’s an international student. I forced myself to go to the gym every day, and I worked on my arms and my stomach (I’m short-waisted, and my waist is not very defined,) but after being here a month, I just ignore thinking about what these guys think of me, and I have fun with my friends. I actually feel better knowing no one here finds me attractive, because I worry less about how I look when I’m having a bad day or something haha.

  2. Doesn’t TaeYang have a song called “Only Look at Me”?

    Anyway, it’s nice to hear someone openly admit that looks ARE important. I don’t think it’s being shallow. Guys do this all the time and are allowed to get away with it. You have no idea how many times I’ve heard the proverbial “Beauty is only skin deep” or “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder” or “It’s a person’s personality that matters most”… yeah, o.k. These statements are definitely true but I agree that looks are the first things a person will get attracted to….that’s just the way it is. ……..that’s the way it is for me.

    I doubt I’d be as in “love” with Lee Taemin if his face wasn’t so perfect and his butt didn’t look so perfect in a pair of black pants or I doubt I’d daydream about Cho Kyuhyun if his smile wasn’t so angelic and that beautiful voice of his……..(sigh) or I doubt I’d even be following Jay Park on Twitter right now if his body wasn’t so bangin’ as it is. My 14 year old niece thinks he’s gorgeous. I guess fortunate for me, all these guys are super talented so at least they’re not just pretty faces.

    I guess to answer your question, yes…..within the last few years, Asian guys have become my dating preference. I think I’ve mentioned before on previous posts how I feel Asian men have a certain level of charisma, beauty, and grace I haven’t really observed in other men….at least lately. I don’t think I’d go ALL out just to attract an Asian guy (although I don’t blame a girl for doing so) but I totally understand where @Cloud8837 is coming from. I’m not heavy but I am tall and I do feel the need to drop some more weight…just in case.

    I do think all races of men are beautiful but of course NO MAN can get away with wearing bangs or pastel colors as well as a Korean or Japanese guy can. Just my opinion…..

  3. Whoa! That’s quite a regimen! 😛

    I’m a makeup artist, and that deals with creating illusion, so I completely understand what you’re doing. I’m half Asian myself, but I identify only with being black and don’t really do anything to “enhance” my Asian-ness. My mom was an ebony queen and I have zero problems looking more black than Asian. I want people to look at me and say, “Oh, she’s black.” rather than “I have no idea what she is. Biracial maybe?” Though, that’s exactly how I ended up looking -biracial. lol.

    I notice Asian guys, and they have noticed me, but I don’t go out of my way to attract/meet/date them. I’m really conscious of the standard of beauty/racism in much of the Asian culture, so again, I don’t go out of my way because I don’t feel that changing anything about myself is worth it just for the sake of pulling one of them. If they look at me, decide I’m attractive and they want to know me, great. If they don’t, great. I want to meet a nice guy (when I’m actually looking for one). Doesn’t have to be a nice “Asian” guy; I’m an equal opportunity boy lover! 😛 Any shade/nationality will do as long as I feel respected and adored.

    But for those who exclusively want an Asian male, more power to ya. To each his own and we should all do what makes us happiest. And we’re all shallow to a degree -why feel like we’re ugly when we’re not? Why sugarcoat our preferences? If you only want pretty Asian guys, go for it as long as that’s what pleases you. ^^

    • Ahh my background is makeup artistry too among other things lolol I’m also biracial..Italian and Black actually but I never thought of how I want someone to see me. I have always embraced both sides. I have a some what International look where you jussst cant put your finger on where I’m from lol
      But I think all of this wouldnt matter if I wasnt actually planning on spending close to 4 years or more of my life in Korea. I feel to a certain extent I have to assimilate as much as possible.

      • That’s a definite. I believe in “When in Rome…” because I think it’s rather rude to go to a host country and not adopt at least some of their ways, you know? And 4 years is a long time, so yeah, it’s best to be thoroughly prepared beforehand.

        I tend to ignore my other side because they’ve ignored me. I have no relationship with my father or his family, save for one aunt. They weren’t crazy about my mom and they divorced when I was just two. No effort was made to be a father, and the members of his family never tried to get to know me. I grew up black, and was embraced by blacks, so that’s who I am. I don’t feel like I’m missing anything, either. 🙂

        Italian and black -nice combo. I have several friends with the same makeup -all very cool people. ^^

      • KrisE,

        In Korea, there is no international look. You will either be identified as Korean or as a foreigner, trust me! Even my husband who is Japanese is a foreigner in their eyes. Korean-Americans and Koreans from Korea are about as different as you can get. I’ve been to Korea once and I think that everyone should visit as many different countries as possible but for me, once was enough for me!

      • Angelface:

        I know there is either Korean or non. The International comment was in reference to the conversation DaGrrrl and I were having about being biracial ^_^

  4. @DaGrrrl Amen to that! I agree that you shouldn’t change anything about yourself just to get a guy because he’ll find out the truth sooner or later but I also don’t see anything wrong with getting a guy’s attention….in a subtle way.

    • @ Choi Min

      LOL. That’s exactly my point!

      At the end of the day, the “airs” come off and all that’s left is the true you. He has to be able to accept that or it will never work. So as long as he still wants me after I wash my makeup off, it’s all good to play dress up outside!

      • @DaGrrrl and Choi Min: YES exactly! If a man wants me, he’ll show interest in me, and I won’t HAVE to hide behind a mask or try to change myself for him!
        Actually, I think that’s where non-Asian women who have a strong preference for Asian guys lose themselves a bit. I’ve seen so many girls try to attract Asian guys by being “more Asian,” just to attract one. I mean, maybe I’m crazy, but isn’t it just fine if an Asian guy likes a woman because of their “NON-Asian-ness”? LOL I just made up two words rofl.

      • @ Cloud8837

        “I mean, maybe I’m crazy, but isn’t it just fine if an Asian guy likes a woman because of their “NON-Asian-ness”? LOL I just made up two words rofl.”

        Hehe. I make up words all the time! Sometimes you just have to! xD

        And very true. I would think one of the main factors in dating someone of another race is the fact that they’re something different. (Not that people are “experiments” -that’s just terrible. But if they possess all of the qualities you normally look for in a partner, I think the difference in nationality and culture adds a little more adventure to the mix). Because, after all, if the male in question [insert nationality] wanted someone like him, he’d just date within his own.

        However, in Kris’ case, she plans to be in Korea for several years, so I can understand her wanting to learn more about how they do things so she can assimilate. In a place like that where they’re very homogeneous, she will already stand out. So perhaps being able to “blend in” a bit more will make things a little less complicated for her.

  5. Thanks for trusting us enough to be so personal and sharing, KrisE. You go ahead and do YOU, the way that makes you happy. 🙂

    That’s what we all should be doing. Doing US. You’ve got one life to live (supposedly), and so as long as you’re not hurting someone else or doing something illegal, carry on with ya “bad” self!

  6. I’m not sure I’m qualified to answer your question, as I’m married to a Black Man. However, I do find Asian men attractive and yes my hubbie knows I have a “few screws loose” for Rain. Since you were honest with us, I’ll tell you. I met hubbie through friends when he was in the Navy. I mailed pictures of myself to my childhhood friend who was living in Norfolk at the time. This was one of those glamour shots (looking all “dolled” up). I get a call from my friend and she said, her hubbie’s Navy buddy saw my photo and wants to write you/get to know you. Long story short, we begin to correspond, we’re starting to “feel” each other. However, I said before we go Any further you need to see what I look like on the day-to-day. With that, I sent him a photo of my self…hair pulled back in a ponytail, no makeup, some sweats on. Even dressed down, I would it was a cute pic. I told him Now that you have seen the REAL me in all my glory, if you want to continue to pursue what’s happening between us please do. But this is it, this is ME. We’ve been married now 16 years. I said all that to you KrisE to let you know, nobody loves makeup and clothes and being an all around girly girl more than me and we ALL do things to attract the opposite sex (Nothing Wrong With That AT ALL), but whoever you end up with don’t be afraid to show him ALL of who you really are. If he’s “feeling you” as they say, ultimately it doesn’t/shouldn’t matter what you look like. He’ll love you for who are, all that you are. If not F___k him, his loss. (SMILES)

    • Nooo I think you’re misunderstanding me. My description of what I do everyday is just me. I’ve always been that way it has nothing to do with attracting an Asian guy or any guy for that matter. I’m the type who wont walk outside unless im all put together and i feel the way I am is coming in handy in this case.
      However with that I believe there are certain things as far as looks go to take into consideration. Going the extra step whether it be dieting, updating your style, etc..can really improve your chances and time spent in an another country like Korea where looks are extremely important.
      Hey looks are the first thing I notice if you’re not good looking I wont bother getting to know you on any other level but friendship. But even if you’re beyond gorgeous if your personality is an out of control failure I wont bother with you either.

      • @KrisE,

        Well, then I’m really not qualified to speak on this subject as I’ve never lived in another country. I have traveled outside the U.S. but never lived, so honestly I don’t know two sh#ts about what it would take to really attract someone of another culture/country. I still feel the same however. I am “who I be” either love me or don’t whoever you are, whatever your ethnicity. In answer to your post, whatever it is you do/don’t do as far as your beauty regimen, whoever the guy is be he Asian or American or whoever he should accept you when he sees you. Now, I don’t know of anybody who couldn’t benefit from dropping a few pounds (I’m constantly trying to work on that….it’s hard girl….SMILES). If skinny is what it takes in Korea, then you may need to lose weight to attract a Korean man, if that’s the goal. Lord, knows I would have to. In the AA world I’m Kate Moss, but in Asia I would be huge. I also agree, don’t get stuck in a particular decade when it comes to clothing style. Always try to stay fresh, up to date and as stylish as your pocketbook can take you. Whatever the trends/styles are in Korea, maybe pick up a few, but stay true to yourself. As far as looks in men go, personally I’ve always been drawn to tall and pretty when it comes to guys. Looking back on the guys I’ve dated, this was the “running theme” and I guess you’re just drawn to who/what you’re drawn too, I don’t apologize for that either. What little I know about Korea, there’s no mistaking me for any other race so if I were ever to be approached by an Asian guy (if I were available) he would expressly be approaching what he KNOWS is a “sho nuff” sista. If your look is racially ambigious as you say, I say HAVE SOME FUN girl……keep’em guessing (SMILES). Go for it, make it do what it do! (SMILES)

      • Pssh over in Korea if your not between 90-100 lbs you’re considered overweight lol I’m only planning to be 10-15 pounds lighter than the average weight for my height which would bring me to 115-120. Like right now I’m not that much bigger than most normal sized Asian girls. Plus I’m only 5″4 so I’m not too worried. Dont get me wrong I’ve been counting calories and working out like a nutcase but this is a perfect example. Modification of one standard in society to fit that of another. But over all I’m happy with myself I just feel the need to make a few tweaks ^_^

    • BiAlamode says:
      “He’ll love you for who are, all that you are. If not F___k him, his loss. (SMILES)”

      Girl, you are too funny!!!

  7. I understood what you meant KrisE and yes, looks are very important in Korea because the people on Korean TV and K-pop idol singers are more often than not….simply gorgeous. I’m not very girly so I wouldn’t do all the things you but I don’t blame you for doing what you do. Nothing wrong with increasing your odds…

    • Oh plus you have to keep in mind also that most of those Idols dont look that way. I dont know if you know this but Korea is actually known for plastic surgery. Theres pretty much a plastic surgeon on every block there and hardly any Korean celeb has gone untouched. Eyelid surgery and nose jobs are the norm. In fact my lovers Kim Hyun Joong and Jae Joong have both had their noses done. They were cute before going under the knife but I adore their noses now ^_^

      • Yes, lawd. The plastic surgery there is really out of hand. It’s kind of sad that they don’t see themselves as beautiful naturally. I watched a video an American teenage girl made about the phenom that is surgery there and it’s enough to break your heart. Perfectly nice looking girls were all hurt because their skin wasn’t white enough, or they don’t have a “double lid”. To me, it’s self-hatred. It really is, and it doesn’t help that their standard of beauty coincides so much with Caucasian people. Why not just accept yourselves for who you are, unique features and all? There’s nothing wrong with how they look naturally.

        Dang, they had nose jobs? *shakes head*
        It’s just sad!

  8. I read the post twice to fully grasp what you your saying. I do want to comment on this though “Hey looks are the first thing I notice if you’re not good looking I wont bother getting to know you on any other level but friendship” I wonder how many woman are passing up good men because of their looks? Men that do not have that “it ” factor but otherwise treat you like a queen and has everything(financial, spiritual, emotional) to offer you, yet you reject him because he doesn’t have “good hair”, the perfect skin color and so on? Personally in the past, I did this. However, what if I hadn’t been so shallow. I didn’t want him because he was big. It got to the point I started not wanting to be seen with him. When he moved overseas and asked me to go with him I found a million and one reasons not to go. At that time I wasn’t thinking of him but of my narrow-minded self. I beat myself up once I realized the mistake I made. In my head *Since you’re so bothered ask him to work out with you, go for longer walks etc* But sadly no. Sorry I rambling on, this was just a passing thought and when I read your comment it made me think of my past and face my own demons. Oh yeah, he lost the weight and is doing extremly well now. Sometimes I wonder though….

    Thank you KrissE for the thought provoking post 🙂

    • I know I said that quote in a matter of fact way but I really stand firm in it. I too have gone out with men who have EVERYTHING but werent actually my type andI went for it anyway because I wanted to give them a chance. In the end though no matter how good they were to me, no matter how much I liked their personality and had fun with them I couldnt get past the lack of attraction. I’m not saying that every person HAS to be attracted to who their dating in order to be happy and feel settled; I’m saying for me I need to be attracted to the guy or else I’m constantly involved in a mental tug of war.

      • KrisE,

        Let me put my two cents in here. I too am biracial and am happily married to a Japanese man. I don’t think that anyone should ever settle when it comes to love, we just have to be realistic. No one is perfect and trust me, I’ve met plenty of K-Pop idols, and they aren’t either. They rarely measure up to the expectations that you have from seeing them on tv. There is definitely nothing wrong with taking care of yourself and wanting to be the “best that you can be”. But, I believe that you have to show any man that you intend to be with “the real you”. Because trust me, after years of marriage and a few babies, that shallowness does fall by the wayside to reality : ). I still have my shallow moments (I am OBSESSED with my hair) but I just don’t have the time to worry about make-up, etc. As I tell my husband, if I can get a 10 minute shower in each morning, I feel like I’ve done my job. He loves me regardless!

        God Bless

    • Missy,

      For a second, i thought that you were responding to me since your reply came under my post. I was like, what, what. LOL! FYI, me sooooo not desperate. Happily married and I have no desires on marrying a K-Pop idol.

    • Since I am the single one here (given the few comments above me) I guess you are talking to me. Sweatheart, I am single by choice, NOT by circumstances. I’m happily enjoying my freedom. I have been there, done that and still standing.

    • @Missy: although I appreciate your comment, I resent that you feel this site is “starting to become embarrassing”. BWLB is what it is: we fangirl over Bi and other hot Asian guys. This site is meant to be fun, and everyone here should not feel that they can’t express themselves for fear of being called “desperate”.

      The whole reason why Asian men and Black women have such a hard time getting together is because they are not expressing themselves and being truthful to each other. What is so wrong about the author expressing herself fully? She is not desperate and neither is anyone else here. If we were, we would’ve picked the first Asian guy we came across. She, just like all the other women here, is waiting for the right guy to come along…

      BWLB is on a mission, and that is to let Asian men know how we feel about them. If they think we are desperate, they can certainly move on to the next. But please choose your words carefully before attacking a person for their heartfelt thoughts.

      Kristina: your posts are wonderful and open and insightful, don’t stop!

    • Pssh. I’m the AUTHOR which is a singular term b.t.w. You know because “why must some of you” is plural sooo you just directing your comment at only me is as suspect as G Dragons drug excuse (check out my latest post for reference if you fell into a pool of confusion).
      I’m only going to entertain this comment for a moment so cherish it. How you got deseperation out of a post over thoughts of assimilation escapes me. However I appreciate your interest and attempt along with failure to read and understand my post.
      Whats not appreciated is your judgemental tone and inclusion of the readers in this blog to take a shot at the author who is ME.
      Opinions and comments good or bad are always welcomed; but next time if you feel the need to hurl abit of venom at one of the blogs authors do so in a straight forward manner. Refrain from pulling in the other readers just to express your dis-satisfaction especially since my name is right there to use.
      Lesson on the RIGHT way to express a disliking for my post.
      KrisE,
      Why must you be so desperate? This site is starting to become embarrassing.
      (This is directed straight to the author leaving out readers and making it easy for a response)
      Missy,
      Oh I’m sorry you feel that way about the site. However I’m even more sorry that your lack of understanding has resulted in an EPIC FAIL. Oops oh well, what can I say other than try again ^_^
      K-Kisses! KrisE

      • KrisE,

        Like I always tell my kids, it’s not what you say but how you say it : ). But in the end, it really is not worth the energy to get upset about. Everyone is different and people will disagree, it’s just a fact of life. How you chose to respond is what distinguishs you as a person.

        Take care 🙂

  9. @KrisE Oh yes, I’m aware Korea is the plastic surgery capital of S.E. Asia … I think eyelid surgery is #1 even over boob jobs. It’s so pervasive over there that celebs don’t really try to hide it anymore and are unapologetic when asked about it. I think Asian people’s eyes are beautiful…..still not sure why they feel the need to alter them.

    • So do I on the flip side I read an article of some model who actually had her eyes done to look Asian…see thats extreme lolol

  10. There are a couple of things I want to say here. Firstly, It’s annoying when people speak on “black men” or “asian men” or whatever like it’s singular. There tons and tons of people of every race, culture, nation, etc. and not everyone thinks the same. Just be happy with who you are and hope someone accepts you for just that.

    Secondly, I’m sorry but when people talk about how much they obsess over something, it makes them seem desperate and gullible.

    Example? You’re so obsessed with Asian Men, and would be so caught up in an “oooooh awwwww” mode if you were with one, I’d bet that man could tell you anything and use you easily. Just saying.

    • R.C.,

      Great point! You can’t generalize people. People are so different whether they are Asian, African American, Hispanic, etc. I actually like reading the different opinions here. I try to put in my view points here and there since this a website dedicated to Bi Rain, who happens to be Asian. Being married to an Asian man, I do see things from a different perspective. But I do the point of your post. Like my husband always says “love is love”. If you can find someone who loves you and treats you with respect, I could care less if he were the color purple :).

    • Well hello there,

      #1 the article as well as comments, question the thoughts of assimilation and how far one would go. (obvious to anyone who reads the entire conversation…its true) People actually think about these things,maybe not all the time but its def crossed a few minds.
      #2. Obsession over a culture, its music and people as a whole is totally 100% fine by me. Obsession over the looks of Asian guys in general thats also acceptable because well its eye candy and eye candy is important in society ^_^
      #3. And this is the most important so focus verrrrry intently. Asian men are still men and although it matters how they look; What they say, how they treat you and how they act in general matters more. Same dating rules apply for all men; if you happen to be the gullible type well then, no matter who he is and what he looks like, plan to get screwed in the end.

      K-Kisses! KrisE

    • @R.C. : you are wrong. She is not desperate. And guess what? this is an Asian men appreciation blog…so yes, there will be MUCH discussion of Asian men. She is being open and free to say what she wants…that takes alot of guts, because getting nasty comments like yours can be a deterent to be so. Also, if it bothers you that much, you are free to move on somewhere else.

  11. “No one is perfect and trust me, I’ve met plenty of K-Pop idols, and they aren’t either. They rarely measure up to the expectations that you have from seeing them on tv.”

    I’ve always, always thought that. When I watched the videos for Lucifer and Ring Ding Dong by SHINee, and then watched a live concert clip for “A-Yo”, I noticed RIGHT AWAY that these guys weren’t as “badass” as my little fangirl imagination made them out to be. >.> Not by a LONG shot. I think it’s all smoke and mirrors and these guys are really not anything like the costumes, “poses”, and suggestive dance moves portray.

    • DaGrrrl,

      Most of it is truly just an illusion. The people that I have met, I can honestly saying that only 2-3 have lived up to “expectations”. Cute but not that cute, if you know what I mean.

      • “Cute but not that cute, if you know what I mean.”

        LOL. That cracked me up!
        I definitely know what you mean. I guess there’s some validity to that old saying about not meeting one’s idols for fear of disappointment!

        But my “fan-ship” is more rooted in reality. I don’t really see these guys as people I’d want to date/marry/sleep with. I see them more as “those cute guys who dance on my tv”. 😛 They don’t feel “real” to me (given how manufactured k-pop seems to be), so I can’t feel attracted to them beyond their looks and enjoying their dance moves/performances because I don’t get a true sense of who they are.

  12. “DaGrrrl says:

    “Cute but not that cute, if you know what I mean.”

    LOL. That cracked me up!
    I definitely know what you mean. I guess there’s some validity to that old saying about not meeting one’s idols for fear of disappointment!

    But my “fan-ship” is more rooted in reality. I don’t really see these guys as people I’d want to date/marry/sleep with. I see them more as “those cute guys who dance on my tv”. They don’t feel “real” to me (given how manufactured k-pop seems to be), so I can’t feel attracted to them beyond their looks and enjoying their dance moves/performances because I don’t get a true sense of who they are”.

    DaGrrrl,

    Some of them have definitely been disappointing. You meet them and are like, whoa, this can’t be the same person. True story, when we met Taeyang, my daughter Mika said after we left, “OMG, I am actually taller than Taeyang. That is so wrong”! LOL!.Only Siwon from Suju and Onew from Shinee have actually exceeded my expectations. Both were way cuter in person than on t.v.

    I’m with you about being “rooted in reality”. I am not a fangirl by any stretch–I’ll leave that to my daughter and her friends. I don’t see anything wrong with appreciating these guys for their talent but I just can’t get into obessing about them as people. People are people! As I tell my daughter, even her bias Taemin wakes up in the morning with bad-breath. He’s human. Get over it :).

    • @Angel Face,

      They fart and scratch their you-know-whats too! (*Just Saying*) I know Bi’s a beauty, but ALL guys do that! Can’t get away from it. (SMILES)

    • “even her bias Taemin wakes up in the morning with bad-breath.”

      Haha!!. I was just thinking that yesterday! I was watching some videos and was thinking, “I bet they look awful when they wake up and have bad breath like everyone else.” LOL.

      Onew isn’t cute to me at all, so I really would welcome seeing him in person if he’s better looking than TV. I like Jonghyun and Key, but I don’t consider them a bias. There are very few k-pop guys that can really make me say, “WOW. HE’S PURTY!” The first to ever get that from me was ChunJi of Teen Top. I thought he was the cutest thing ever with Ricky fast behind.

      Another one who is really popular, but not cute to me at all, is Nichkhun of 2pm. People go gaga over him and I’m just like >.< naw… lol. So I guess my tastes run differently than most.

      • DaGrrrl,

        You are so funny! We were watching a Hello Baby episode the other day and Yoogeun came over to kiss the members in the morning. After he kissed Taemin, I told my kids, “that poor kid is probably thinking Taemin, you really need to brush your teeth”, which caused my daughter to lose it since of course he’s “pure and perfect”. Ugh!

        I honestly did not think that Onew was cute either. He was the one member in Shinee who was kind of “invisible” to me. I keep my expectations really low with these guys, so that when we meet them, I can say “oh they are so much better looking in person”. But the first thing that I notice about a person is their teeth. I cannot stand a jacked up grill. So, when we met Onew, his smile drew me in because it is so pretty, but when I took a deeper look at him, i was like ‘wow’. Perfect skin and hair (another one of my things) and his features are just so soft and angelic. Very good-looking man! I was not with my daughter when she met Jonghyun but she said that he was ‘not as cute in person and kinda short’ (as well as some other things which I won’t get into here).

        I totally agree with you about Nichkhun of 2PM. I think my daughter said it best when she said that he is either a “hit or miss”. Sometimes, he looks kinda okay but most of the times, it’s just a fail!

      • @ AngelFace

        Lawd, my spidey senses are tingling! I hope JongHyun didn’t say/do anything that will make me dislike him. >.> TBH, I really just like him in the Lucifer video. He has this cool kazuya “tekken” look going on. But In Ring Ding Dong, I didn’t know he was the same person. >.> Bleh. He was not meant to go blonde. Ever. lol.

        Teeth are definitely important -and you read my mind again! I watch their mouths a lot when I watch k-pop, and I was telling my best friend, “You know… I bet they all use Crest white strips daily.” LOL. Their teeth are abnormally white. ALL. OF. THEM. No way they didn’t hit the dentist then stocked their houses with strips. 😛

        I’m not shocked by the heights, either. They use a lot of camera shots that give the illusion of height, so when you see them, it’s all “Tom Cruise” mode, making you wonder if they wear shoe lifts (which some have admitted to so that the members can all be the same height, or close to it). And they all look sooooo thin. My Chunji is 5’8 and 116lbs. Makes me feel “beached” just looking at him!

        Ah, the illusions of the entertainment world!

      • See this is why i like watching the Reality shows.
        The only group I love like that is MBLAQ and they are so real.
        I’ve seen them just barely woke, with no make up, grumpy, and doing “boy” stuff.
        I love them all the more for it.
        I guess not all groups are that open..MBLAQ must learn from their ridiculously honest mentor, Rain. Well, it’s why I love them so much. I think 2pm is sort’ve the same way. In their reality shows, they look very normal…especially taecyeon with adorkable glasses.
        So yea those are the groups I like..the ones that aren’t always done up for the camera.

    • Choi Min Jung,

      Siwon is gorgeous in person and very tall. Kind of has a “creepert” look in his eyes, because he stares at you when he talks, but I can look pass that : ). Onew, is stunning in person. His smile is very beautiful and his speaking voice is surprisingly deep. He seems a little shy but very humble and kind.

      • This is so funny, I like all of SHINee’S members but Taemin and Onew are my favorite. I always thought Onew was good looking and had a great smile. Have you seen the mv for “Hello”? He smiles SOO HUGE in it but its nice lol and if you ever watch them on youtube hes real calm and has this peaceful tone to his voice..hes like a Zenned out leader lol

  13. @AngelFace

    You know what…..from watching Siwon in “Oh My Lady”, I got the impression that he had to have been at least 6″ tall or taller and had very broad shoulders. At least this is what I observed. My mother who is in her 60’s finds Siwon very attractive. Somehow knowing that disturbs me but I guess I can’t blame her. Just because you’re older doesn’t mean you’re dead. lolol I read somewhere that Siwon likes to carry himself confidently and models himself after one of his mentors….not arrogantly…but confidently so I’m not surprised he’d look you in the eye like that.

    Honestly, Onew was the first one in SHINee that I fell in “love” with before Taemin because his voice was unlike anything I had ever heard. It’s distinctive. I’m not surprised (I’m sorry, I say “I’m not surprised” a lot) his speaking voice is deep because he has such range when he sings. I’ve always thought his smile could light up the sky as bright as it is but it’s nice to know that he really is good looking in person. Even though he seems very nice to the fans, he does seem shy and I get this mysterious, quiet, serial killer-like vibe from him but I’m hoping it’s just the shyness.

    He, Taemin, Siwon, Jay Park, and Cho Kyuhyun of SuJu are the gentlemen I’d like to meet in person……

    Thanks for your sharing eyewitness accounts with us…… 🙂

    P.S. —Now you’ve got me curious about the “other” undesirable things about Jonghyun…..

    • Choi Min Jung,

      I won’t even get into the other undesirable things about Jonghyun. Let’s just say he went from being the reason why my daughter started to love K-Pop to a “non-factor”. Btw, I don’t mind “sharing” my fan accounts. I don’t want to come off like I know these people personally but because of my brother-in-law’s connections, we have been very blessed to meet a lot of them. Most have exceeded my expectations.

      “He, Taemin, Siwon, Jay Park, and Cho Kyuhyun of SuJu are the gentlemen I’d like to meet in person……”

      We did get to meet Jay Park before the KMF last year and he is about as down-to-earth as you can get. Kind of “Asian Thugish-light” if you know that I mean. He asked my daughter Mika that she was going to be “so fly when she grows up”. Ugh : ). Kyuhyun was one of the few Suju members that signed autographs for my kids without asking, so he’s alright in my book as well. Very bashful though and I really don’t remember much of him but that his ears were really red as he spoke. So I kept fixiing on his red ears and not his face :).

      • Sorry about the misspelled words! I meant to say that I was “fixating on his red ears and not his face”. Not fixing on his red ears.LOL!

      • “Let’s just say he went from being the reason why my daughter started to love K-Pop to a “non-factor”

        Aww, that makes me want to avoid that guy because it has to be bad to make a teen fangirl want to run from him. =/ (Teen girls are usually forgiving of just about everything! So when they’re turned off…)

    • Choi Min Jung,

      My husband is 6’1″ and Siwon was almost the same height as him. He has to be at least 6’0″. Trust me, I didn’t mind him looking intently in the eyes as he spoke but his stare was so “intense”. Made me a little uncomfortable and I don’t get uncomfortable around anyone! Also, when he hugs, he holds the back of your head. I was like, oh my heck! He has an extreme amount of confidence and it carries over in his demeanor. I wear a Rosary and he was drawn to that. But even with that, when he went to admire the Rosary on my neck, he touched it in such a way that again “oh my heck”. He is very religious and a devout Christian (he even said a prayer for my family), but I do think that there is another side to him, that he does not want to reveal : ).

      • AngelFace, I think that your description of Siwon is hilarious and he is my favorite member in Super Junior so I have thought about meeting him sometime but I don’t know how good his English is (I’m trying to learn Korean). When I watched Oh! My Lady, I was always staring dreamily at his face and to know that he looks even more handsome in person only makes me want to meet him more lol. Also when ever I saw him on one of many reality shows that SuJu participated in, he seemed like such a considerate, sweetie pie.

        I was wondering that since you met Jonghyun (I’m a bit disappointed with the interaction you and your daughter had with him, it makes me REALLY curious to know what he did/said) and Onew from SHINee, did you also get a chance to met Taemin (my SHINee and overall Kpop bias), Key and Minho and what was that like? No pressure to answer just inquiring on my favorite Kpop group :). Thank you soo much if you do hehe.

  14. “KrisE says:

    This is so funny, I like all of SHINee’S members but Taemin and Onew are my favorite. I always thought Onew was good looking and had a great smile. Have you seen the mv for “Hello”? He smiles SOO HUGE in it but its nice lol and if you ever watch them on youtube hes real calm and has this peaceful tone to his voice..hes like a Zenned out leader lol”.

    Onew has now become my fave in Shinee. His personality won me over big time but boy, he is really cute. I can’t say that enough :). There are some people that are just like you imagine him to be and Onew really is like that. Kind, soft-spoken and just has a good spirit about him.

  15. “Aww, that makes me want to avoid that guy because it has to be bad to make a teen fangirl want to run from him. =/ (Teen girls are usually forgiving of just about everything! So when they’re turned off”.

    DaGrrrl,

    Yeah, it wasn’t too good but since I’m a Christian, I believe in forgiveness, so I will leave it at that. Sometimes the Idols live up to your expectations and other times “they show you who they really are”, so you just have to accept it. Maybe he was having a bad day! Unfortunately, after meeting him, every picture of Jonghyun was removed from my daughter’s walls in her room and she “blacked out” his face in any group pictures. Teens are very unforgiving : ).

    • Oh man, for me, only one thing could make me go your daughter’s route and that just sucks. I guess I have to be glad that I’m not much of a fan. I like 3 songs, and now I feel like they’re 3 too much! >.>

      To Jonghyun: Way to crush a little girl’s feelings, butthole!
      And your hair is terrible.

      hehe.

      • DaGrrrl,

        You are so funny! Mika said the same thing, “well he’s short and not even that cute anyway”. I had heard things about him but did not want to believe “rumors” but unfortunately, the rumors were very true. But on a brighter note, the other member’s were very, very nice. I think Jonghyun has some “delusional issues” but oh well. At SM Town NYC, my brother-in-law is going to set-up some more meet-and-greets so hopefully, Mika can finally have a conversation with her bias Taemin. The 1st meeting did not go very well, since she broke down in tears which scared him and basically brought him to tears as well. LOL! I think her life “so far” will be complete if she can just have a normal conversation with him without shaking and crying. And just maybe Jonghyun will be a different person the 2nd go around!

      • “The 1st meeting did not go very well, since she broke down in tears which scared him and basically brought him to tears as well. LOL!”

        AWWWWW! That made me giggle! I hope she gets another shot at it. It’s so rare to get a chance to meet one’s favorite celebrities. I’m just sorry Jonghyun left such a crappy impression of himself on her. But at least the others were sweet. 🙂

      • DaGrrrl,

        Yeah, I guess it’s not such a bad thing but it just felt weird. My husband even said later in the car that after he shook his as well as our son’s hand, “I guess the head holding doesn’t apply to men, huh?”. I guess for me, it felt too close to home since my husband always holds my head and plays in my hair, out of habit. Felt a little too familiar to me. LOL!

  16. “DaGrrrl says:

    ROFL! Hubby is hilarious!
    No head holding for him! xD”.

    LOL! My husband was so busy keeping an eye on Mika while she was talking to another member(since he’s very protective of her), that I thought he did not catch the head holding thing. But alas, he’s so observant :).

  17. @AngelFace ….. Well, you have totally made my day by telling me that all the men I “love” and admire are kind and genuinely nice young men. I thank you for that. I know you don’t know these guys personally but I really appreciate your insights. I may never get to meet these people so I’ll rely on your experiences…..

    Your encounter with Siwon sounded funny….wish I could’ve been there to see that.

    You can talk about how nice Onew is all day long….I don’t mind. I’m actually relieved to know he’s so kind in real life since he seems so quiet and anti-social….shy.

    One more thing…..you may not remember to do this but when you go to SM Town NYC, please tell Onew and Taemin that they have fans in Atlanta who really love them and love their talent and want nothing more than for them to have longevity.

    For Kyuhyun, please tell him I’m so happy that he’s still singing and got a “second chance” at life and chose to come back despite the pain and that he too has fans here in Atlanta who love him very much.

    I may sound like a Hallmark card or sappy K-drama but I really would like for them to know that.

    • Choi Min Jung,

      Thank you and I will remember you words and if time allows, express them at SM Town NYC! I tell my kids all of the time that it is blessing to meet these people and that they should never take it lightly. Most people will never get the chance to even see some of these guys in concert, let alone share a few moments of their time. So they have to remain grateful and humble!

      Onew will always have a special place in my heart! I don’t think that he is anti-social as much as he is very reflective and shy. I can’t say enough kind things about him : )

      • Oh dear. I feel kind of awkward since it’s my first post here, but I felt like I just had to put in my two cents since I’m from Atlanta too. It would be great to have these people come down to Georgia. I absolutely adore SHINee and even though it’s in America, New York is quite a distance. It would be wonderful if they at least had the idea in their minds to come here some time in the future. It’s awesome to know that at least most of the idols you meet are actually pleasant. I’m sorry that Jonghyun made a butt of himself (from what it sounds like). I actually tend to expect famous people (from just about anywhere) to be distant, standoffish, and businesslike when dealing with fans in person so it’s nice when they’re not.

  18. “fleurdelis18 says:

    AngelFace, I think that your description of Siwon is hilarious and he is my favorite member in Super Junior so I have thought about meeting him sometime but I don’t know how good his English is (I’m trying to learn Korean). When I watched Oh! My Lady, I was always staring dreamily at his face and to know that he looks even more handsome in person only makes me want to meet him more lol. Also when ever I saw him on one of many reality shows that SuJu participated in, he seemed like such a considerate, sweetie pie.

    I was wondering that since you met Jonghyun (I’m a bit disappointed with the interaction you and your daughter had with him, it makes me REALLY curious to know what he did/said) and Onew from SHINee, did you also get a chance to met Taemin (my SHINee and overall Kpop bias), Key and Minho and what was that like? No pressure to answer just inquiring on my favorite Kpop group . Thank you soo much if you do hehe”.

    Fleurdelis18,

    Siwon does speak “engrish”. He speaks it pretty well, I guess better than most k-pop idols. At least you can understand him. I know a little Korean but am fluent in Japanese. My daughter Mika is completely fluent in both Korean and Japanese, which is why I think they feel very “at ease” with her!

    I didn’t meet Jonghyun because my daughter was talking to him with her friend while I was getting “eye glared” at by Siwon :). I really don’t like to talk badly about people but he just wasn’t very kind.

    Our meeting with Taemin will go down in history since like you, he is our daughter’s bias. Unfortunately, she was so overwhelmed that she started crying, which I think scared him because his eyes started welling up. Onew had to explain to him that she was not “upset” at meeting him but “had happy tears” :). Taemin is taller in person and not very shy in my opinion but does seem sensitive.

    Key was a surprise to me. For some reason, I assumed that he would be a ‘diva and rude’ but he was very nice. Spoke in English to me and my husband and Korean with Mika. He also took many pictures of her since he was in love with her green eyes (his words). LOL! I think Asians are very awestruck when they see “foreign Asians” who look very different. Every idol that has met her, always gets really close to look in her eyes to make sure that her eyes ‘are real’. :).

    I really don’t remember much about Minho to be honest. He was very nice, warm and gave everyone hugs but he is sooooo quiet. I will say one thing! Minho signed his autograph in English, which I thought was different since most of them typically do it in Korean, and he is very thougthful about what he writes. It took him a good 5 minutes to sign my daughter’s autograph book and he took up an entire page :).

    Take care 🙂

    • Aww Minho and my Taeminnie are so sweet. I wish I could meet them but I just might do what your daughter did when she met Taemin if I was able to met him which is a little embarrassing since I’m older than him (only by six months though) lol. You guys are really lucky and unfortunately I won’t be able to go to SM Town in NYC and that is killing me. Please update me on the concert because I would love to know what happened with SHINee, TVXQ!, and SuJu. Thanks a lot! 🙂

      • Fleurdelis18,

        I guess they get a little freaked out about the crying thing. Maybe they don’t understand that girls (at least in America) cry for reasons other than being sad. I honestly don’t know but Taemin looked “petrified” as Mika cried. It also did not help that she had that uncontrollable crying thing going on. LOL! Minho and Taemin were definitely sweethearts!

        I will keep everyone updated on SM Town. We are flying out late on 10/21/11 and will be back on Monday, 10/24/11. Should be interesting since we are in the pit with all of the die hard fan girls, which makes my daughter happy since she can take as many videos as her heart’s desire. Me, not so much. LOL!

      • Ha! If Taemin was “petrified” when your daughter cried, he would completely freak out at a Michael Jackson concert where thousands of girls were screaming, crying, fainting. If he was scared by one girl crying happy tears he would not be able to survive at MJ’s concert (Michael is my all-time favorite entertainer by the way). Have a good evening 🙂

  19. Wow!
    I had to wait ’til after work to tend this garden.

    You cannot take your eyes off this sight for too long
    or you’ll miss something.
    But that is what I love about this forum.
    This post went from light, fun girl talk,
    to some fairly serious shiznit.

    KrisE,
    I am honored that my words in some way
    inspired you to write this post,
    and I appreciate and respect the honesty
    with which you shared of yourself.
    Also, you had to use that picture didn’t you,
    reminding me of the shower scene that wasn’t…
    as in was never seen that is.
    If only Rain would commit to a diet of flavorless chicken
    and steamed vegetables once more,
    we might could have a sequel on our hands.
    But alas, he did say repeatedly… never again.
    Perhaps two (2) years in the military
    might change his mind.
    Welcome to this forum KrisE
    I see why BoaB brought you aboard.
    Your contributions thus far have
    an entirely different flavour
    That may take some, some getting use to;
    but, you were open and honest from
    the very beginning with what you were about.
    As you see, these posts often take on a life of their own.

    Missy,
    It is not my intention to be mean-spirited in any way.
    None of us takes ourselves too seriously,
    and neither should you.
    Should you have any specific thoughts
    on the subject either way, please share.
    You are not the first to look upon these comments
    as acts of desperation, and I am sure you will not be the last.
    But I guarantee you, and I think I can at least speak
    for the usual suspects…
    we are far from desperate here.
    I do not entirely get why some see them
    as such, as opposed to…
    musings of a fantastical nature,
    a temporary break from reality.
    Though for some participating in this forum,
    apparently not too far removed
    from reality after all.

    I expect for me,
    hooking up with any one of the idols
    is just plain not gonna happen,
    but it sure is fun to talk about it,
    and hear tales from others
    putting themselves out there,
    and leading much more interesting,
    and sometimes rather extraordinary lives.

    Choi Min Jung,
    I am not very girly, girl either,
    But making oneself up for public viewing,
    to appeal to the opposite and/or same sex,
    has been around since Eve ate
    that goddamn apple off the tree
    (I am sorry if I offend).
    I do have this thing about
    my eyebrows and my lips though.
    I will admit to obsessive, compulsive
    attention to detail in that regard.
    Seriously, you have no idea.
    But I do it for me.

    These people in the entertainment industry
    get paid to look good, and for the most part,
    are well taken care of in that regard.
    As the likes of TMZ and Star like to point out,
    most look horrifyingly real when they’re off the clock,
    or go to great lengths to maintain that illusion
    you speak about Dagrrrl,
    at all times, some, at any cost.

    I have never judged a book by its cover.
    I treat others the way I wish to be treated,
    and form my opinions of them based on
    how I see them treat others,
    and how they treat me.

    You can be the finest-looking specimen
    in the world on the outside,
    and a monster from hell on the inside.
    Whoever said “beauty is in the eye of the beholder”
    knew exactly what they were talking about.
    Some people just shine,
    they radiate from the inside out,
    there is a warmth about them that attracts people to them.
    If there’s nothing there to begin with,
    all the other stuff is useless, meaningless.

    If I may continue on with my clichéd prose here…
    … and the eyes are indeed the windows to the soul…
    You all know what I’m talking about.
    Exchanging glances with a complete stranger
    can sometimes take you by surprise…
    Par example,
    I was in Walgreen’s looking for my Naphcon eye drops.
    There was a man standing beside me looking for something too,
    but I wasn’t paying him no mind.
    Then I found them, said aloud a little “yea!”
    and just before I turned to leave he asks me how well they work…
    I looked up, I’m a little on the short side,
    and into the kind eyes of a stranger,
    who just happened to be a mature man of the Asian persuasion.
    I said I have very sensitive eyes and that they worked great…
    He smiled and said thank you,
    and I smiled and said you’re welcome, have a good one.
    For some reason that exchange has stayed with me.
    It was such that ‘til this day,
    I regret not going back and introducing myself.
    I remember him looking at me, as though he wanted to do the same.
    But I am very shy, and I got the hell out of dodge.
    I remember that he was not unattractive,
    and I say that, because what I remember the most
    are his eyes, and the warmth behind them.

    As far as K-pop idols go,
    and buying into the fantasy, the illusion…
    that’s part of what I love about it.
    The production is incredible.
    Part of why I love MBLAQ,
    is their more artful bent on performances
    such as for Cry and Stay,
    the intense expression of emotion I love that.
    I also loved Kkaeal Player (sp?).
    Of all the K-pop artists it struck me with how raw, open,
    honest and vulnerable MBLAQ seemed to be compared to the others.
    Joonie says it’s all acting, and I’m sure
    much of it is with cameras rollin’ and all,
    but you can’t be on all the time.

    I am who I am,
    I am far from knockout gorgeous,
    (though my mother modeled for Pierre Balmain,
    but my sister got those looks)
    but for some reason
    I don’t seem to have a problem attracting men.
    I see the puzzled, and sometimes pissed-off,
    looks on other girls faces sometimes;
    but hey, I am just being me.
    I’m not one to dress up,
    because it is much too stressful for me.
    I am all about being comfortable in my own skin.
    If someone sees that and is attracted to it,
    and dares to come introduce themselves
    before I realize they’re coming and run away,
    well alright then.

    And for those of you that put a little more effort into it,
    I applaud you, more power to you.
    If I knew how, I might too.

    But as for attracting a man, any man, regardless of race,
    like BiAlamode says, “If he’s feeling you as they say,
    Ultimately it doesn’t/shouldn’t matter what you look like.
    He’ll love you for who you are, all that you are.”
    And my favourite, “If not, fuck him, his loss.”

    DynasticQueen says,
    “You go ahead and do you…”
    In that regard, I think we’re all on the same page here
    ‘Cuz ultimately, that’s all any of us can do, right?

    So,
    I congratulate those of you that have yours – AngelFace, BiAlamode
    and toast the men in your lives that put up with
    all the fun your having here…

    LadyOrchid…
    here’s to taking chances!

    One more thing,
    I apologize for the repeated use of “in that regard”

    • Whatthefrell,

      Great post and thanks for the laugh!

      “So,
      I congratulate those of you that have yours – AngelFace, BiAlamode
      and toast the men in your lives that put up with
      all the fun your having here…”

      I’ll drink to that! I am beyond grateful and thankful for the blessings in my life, starting with my wonderful husband! Mind you, I say this as I look at the clothes that he has carefully placed on top of the hamper instead of inside of it but I digress. Don’t sweat the small stuff
      Angelica. Ugh : (.

      Take care 🙂

      • “Mind you, I say this as I look at the clothes
        that he has carefully placed on top of the hamper
        instead of inside…”
        In the words of Janet Jackson,
        “that’s the way love goes.”
        Count those blessings baby…

        You do the same!

    • @whatthefrell,

      I always enjoy the unique way you express yourself and thank you. Like Angelface, I feel extremely fortunate to have a loving hubbie as well.

      @Angelface,

      Yeah, there’s nothing like coming home to an empty box of Uncle Ben’s rice IN the pantry and a sink full of dishes…when the dishwasher is SO empty. I’m right there with ya girl!………gotta love’em. (SMILES)

      • BiAlamode,

        Yeah, you gotta love them or you might want to kill ’em : ). My husband was watching the game the other night and eating cereal out of a pot. Why you ask? Because all of the bowls were dirty and in the dishwasher and God forbid he take out a single bowl and wash it by hand. LOL!

  20. “whatthefrell says:

    “Mind you, I say this as I look at the clothes
    that he has carefully placed on top of the hamper
    instead of inside…”
    In the words of Janet Jackson,
    “that’s the way love goes.”
    Count those blessings baby…

    You do the same!”

    Trust me I count my blessings each and every day! I don’t even sweat the small stuff anymore (not like it makes a difference if I do). Like my Mom says, you have a man who takes care of home and loves his wife and kids. If picking up his dirties off the floor is the worst of your worries, LET IT GO!! At least in the last 15+ years, he has learned to lovingly place them on top instead of beside the hamper : ).

    • That’s progress,
      and an “A” for effort.
      15+ years… that’s awesome.
      You obviously care an awful lot for him
      as is expressed in your use of the term “lovingly”
      That’s a beautiful thing…
      I wish for you 15+ more years to come,
      seriously.

      • Whatthefrell,

        Thanks for the kind words! He really is the ying to my yang and my best friend. It feels like yesterday that we met in college and started dating. I wasn’t very receptive to him at first but he wore me down. LOL! Like he alwasy says, ‘love is love’.

  21. I dont know much about Korea’s culture, but I do know that their perception of beauty is veerry different from what Im use to. Have I done anything to specifically to attract Asian men, no I havent. This post actually made me think about my younger self. Ive always been the type to say, Oh he’s cute or hot whatever no matter his nationality. I never asked myself would I actually date that person. So over the pass year or two, I have been more receptive to their flirting, Instead of just writing them off as just playing. I have no limitations on what nationality or race/color he maybe. My mom jokes alot now. She say she does not know what color the man maybe, she calls them skittles when I tell her Im dating…lol

  22. Surkura,

    Sometimes you have to go outside your comfort zone when dating. I think Asian men in general are very timid about approaching a woman of color. I said in another post that it took my hubby many months in school to get the courage to ask me out, since he thought that I would not be receptive to him (and I wasn’t at first). BTW, love the Skittles analogy : ).

  23. AngelFace,

    I get the timid part. In my dealing with guys in general. Ive been told that it’s hard to approach me. I always ask why. Im super nice, I have a bubbly personality, I literally like to Laugh-Out-Loud… Two actual said it was because when Im not with my friends I seem very focused and I know what Im doin.. This serious Im about my work attitude. They say its easier with my friends, but harder b/c they’re around and very protective. I find it hard to believe and I dont know what to do with that. Anyway a couple a months a go, this asian guy name Brian was at the nail shop, He was flirting and I accused him of flirting with all the girls. He got offended, but I was joking.He was very admit that he doesnt. He accused me of not liking Asian guys. He gave a list of stereotypes of why I didnt. I kindly let him know that I liked guys based on my own guidelines, not others. I said I find men from every race attractive…etc. He stayed after his shift, but he never asked for the number.

      • surkura:
        I have to say my personality is similar to yours, and I’ve run into a few Asian guys who were showing interest, but I wrote it off as playing around. I say keep trying! If it’s meant to be, it WILL happen! I’ve had a less than lovely experience in that sense here in Japan, but I’m not giving up! Keep trying, because you learn SO much more from people with backgrounds different from your own. Fighting!

    • Surkura,

      Asian men tend to be very timid about approaching a woman. Being a foreign woman, makes it even more difficult. If they show any interest, you will typically have to initiate the first move or wait until they muster the courage to approach you. I think they get “scared off” by Western women who are much more stronger (in personality) than Asian women. When you said that you friend Brian got “offended” when you jokingly accused him of flirting, I can definitely see that. Most Asian men may give small hints that they are interested in you, but flirting usually is not in their character :).

      Take care.

      • Angelface,

        “I can definitely see that. Most Asian men may give small hints that they are interested in you, but flirting usually is not in their character .”

        I didnt know that. Thanks for the info. Next time I wont say the flirting thing. Now, I really understand why he was so adamant. Thanks alot. Love reading ur comments. Bless You and your Family.

        Cloud8837

        Im glad that our personalities are similar. I hope your time in Japan gets better. Even though I dont know whats happening to you, I hope that one day you can share your experience with us. In about 2 years me and my bestie are planning to travel to Japan and Korea, so any personal experience will be most appreciated. Keep Your Head Up…. Fighting. ( I also wanted to type fighting..lol Yours was the 1st fighting I got) lol.

      • Surkura,
        In 2 years if you’re in Korea and this blog is still going which I’m sure it will be…we should have a meet and greet! Soju, kimchi pancakes and karaoke!!

      • @,KrisE

        looking forward to it. By then I know you’ll have everything from idols to hot spots on lock.

    • I get the same comments about my personality. For some reason I come off too serious when no one is around me, but I also believe that if a guy wants to get to know you, his curiousity will cause him to see past that and try to get to know what you are realyl about. I have been around a few asian guys that I wish would try to at least ask me some questions, but I get the shyness from them. I also don’t care what nationality a guy is, they are never too shy when they want to get with you. I only had one asian guy actually approach me after months of checking me out and that was a loooong time ago in high school. *sigh*

  24. Thank you so much for this post..I always have fun reading the commments from everyone

    Angelface:Your comments made me laugh and smile the most today,specially about your daughter.
    Thank you for sharing your experiences with us,I probably would a act the same way as your Daughter if I would be blessed to meet Rain,though I’m 31.lol
    I wish you and your Family more Blessing and all the Hapiness in this world.
    I pray that someday that God will bless me too with a wonderful man that respects and loves me and accepts my children,or the way you put it:the ying to my yang!!

    • Priscila,

      Thank you for the kinds words! Marriage isn’t for everyone but I do wish that everyone finds a person that is loving and respectful to share their life with. My kids (we have 3), definitely keep life very “interesting” for us; and our Princess Mika, she is just the joy of my life. She’s Mommy’s Angel but the apple of her Daddy’s eye : ). I will pray that you continue to receive many Blessings!

  25. Cloud8837 says:

    “I’ve run into a few Asian guys who were showing interest, but I wrote it off as playing around. I say keep trying! If it’s meant to be, it WILL happen! I’ve had a less than lovely experience in that sense here in Japan, but I’m not giving up! Keep trying, because you learn SO much more from people with backgrounds different from your own. Fighting!”

    Cloud8837,

    I’m sad to hear that you are not having a great experience in Japan. I’ve been to Japan 20+ times to visit my husband’s family and love it there (wouldn’t want to live there but a nice place to visit). I know that each year when we go back, you really do have to “revert back culturally”. While few Japanese men will approach me when I am in Japan, they do make me feel uncomfortable with the staring. I don’t know if it’s the foreign thing or the exotic thing that attracts attention, but if I go out in the evening, I am always with my hubby or his brother, uncles, or male cousins, etc, because you feel like a walking target at times. I hope that things will get better and like you said, if it is meant to be, things will happen.

    Take care 🙂

    • @Angelface

      You’re definitely right. I refuse to go to Japan, but my best friend, who is Hispanic, went with one of her mother figures, who is Black, for one of those all inclusive tours. She said while she didn’t get stared at too much, her mother figure did and a few times they even caught people snapping her picture on the sly like she was some walking anomaly. I was pretty appalled by that, especially when she reported how they have cosplayers walking around in full dress 24/7. I guess that’s more “normal” than seeing a person of color.

      • DaGrrrl,

        People of color are definitely an oddity in both Japan and Korea. I am Hispanic and Black but the Hispanic genes definitely took presedence in my looks. Asians always assume any Latina is Mexican. I never had any issues with picture taking but man the stares are bizarre. I have been propositioned and we never let our daughter out without a bunch of her male relatives around because even at her young age, she gets oggled. Yuk!

        My experience in Korea was not as pleasant! At least in Japan, they do see foreigners so while it’s different, I’ve never felt out of place in Japan.

      • @ AngelFace

        I don’t blame you one bit for sending a throng of bodyguards out with your baby. You just never know because you’re out of your element and knee deep in theirs -that tends to embolden people, if you know what I mean. I already know enough about Japan from my aunt to realize it’s not a place I want to go. I don’t even want to go to Korea (and hearing that being foreign there is worse just seals the deal for me!). By nature, I’m a very shy person, so getting stared at on that level would set me off.

        Yeah, think I’ll just stay in the good old US of A. 😛

    • AngelFace,
      Thank you so much for the support, it really helps! I do get stares, but it’s more of the “what are you” stares, not the “wow, she’s cute” stares lol. Things are looking up, sort of, actually. There was a huge festival on campus today, and me and my girlfriend (she’s Jamaican and Nigerian) were approached by two gorgeous Japanese alumni! I was so distracted and nervous around them that when the cuter one introduced himself, I almost FORGOT what my name even was! The only reason we didn’t hang out with them is because they came off as a bit creepy. They asked us really randomly if we wanted to go to the beach at night, and we were like uhhh…I dunno, it’s late, we have a nomikai (drinking party) to go to…They seemed a bit too suspicious, so we had to turn them down. We just didn’t want to end up missing on national news lol. 😦 they’re on their way back to Tokyo now.) But despite that, things ARE looking much better!
      P.S. LOVE ALL OF THE WOMEN ON THIS BLOG!!!

      • Cloud8837,

        I am so, so happy to hear that things are looking up for you! It does take time. You are in a different country and learning to adapt to a new culture is challenging. I don’t blame you one bit for not hanging out with those 2 Japanese guys on the beach. Like, I said in one of my other posts, I have been propositioned by some of these “creepy men” over there and you just don’t want to put yourself in a dangerous position. Alot of them just want the “fantasy” of being with a foreign woman but I have heard some crazy stories from my brother-in-law, which is why we NEVER let our daughter hang out there without a bunch of male relatives around her. Young girls are like prey to these ‘old creeperts’, so yeah, be very careful over there. Hopefully, you’ll find love over there or at the very least, a great guy to hang out with. I wish you luck!

        God Bless,
        Angelica

  26. “KrisE says

    Angelface:

    I know there is either Korean or non. The International comment was in reference to the conversation DaGrrrl and I were having about being biracial ^_^”

    No problem, my misunderstanding! Korea was a fun place to visit but just not for me. We stayed there for 3 weeks with friends of ours. Having Korean friends from Korea, we were kind of “schooled” on the culture beforehand, so I knew what to expect but you can never really be fully prepared. Foreigners stick out like a sore thumb there. I would go back again but would probably stay in Seoul and not in a small village again :).

  27. Thank you Angelface. I was a bit cranky at first, but reading your commnets about the experiences and your beautiful family lifted my spirts.

    @Priscilla “I pray that someday that God will bless me too with a wonderful man that respects and loves me and accepts my children,or the way you put it:the ying to my yang!!” Me too! Between Angelface, BiAlamode and the other ladies, I’m looking at marriage in a whole new light. lol

    @Whathafrell, always a pleasure reading your comments

    Now, I want to check out a few of the k-pop stars like Onew. He sounds adorable.

      • LadyOrchid,
        I’m glad you’re feeling better, sorry to hear you were not feeling good. I was wondering where my “partner in crime” was. (SMILES)

        I totally agree with AngelFace, marriage does take work and sometimes I reflect over the years and say to myself….”Damn, we made it through that?” But, as much as it takes work, it’s an awesome/beautiful thing when it does work. I will say this cause I don’t want to beat people over the head, but the cliche is true, you gotta be friends…..Love them yes, but be friends. I actually LIKE my hubbie as a person and enjoy his company, even though he can press my last nerve sometimes….(SMILES). I think these kinds of feelings go across the board no matter what culture you may be from. Understanding and knowing/wanting to know your partner probably rings true in most cultures across the globe. I agree with AngelFace marriage may not be for everyone, but I hope everybody here finds happiness in whatever capacity you deem suitable. (SMILES)

    • LadyOrchid,

      I’m glad my comments lifted your spirits! I’m sure that BiAlamode would agree that marriage takes alot of work and then you throw in a few kids and whoa! But I definitely feel blessed. He is a wonderful man with a beautiful spirit.

  28. @AngelFace …..that’s wonderful to be blessed with a good life partner. I’m sure marriage does take work but I guess if you’re with the right person, it would be worth it. I appreciate your comments as well. You bring great positive energy. Thank you….

    • Choi Min Jung,

      Yes, the right person does make it all worth it. I think BiAlamode said it best “you have to be friends first”. My hubbie is my best friend and we always make sure to put each other first. My son once asked my husband, who he loves more, the kids or mommy? Without hesitation, he said “I love Mommy more”. He said, “As my children, it’s a given that I love all of you since you are a part of me. But at the end of the day, I chose Mommy, so I love her more”. : ).

      I do try to always be positive. Life is too short and why waste energy on being mean and negative? I don’t need that energy around me!

  29. DaGrrrl says,

    I don’t blame you one bit for sending a throng of bodyguards out with your baby. You just never know because you’re out of your element and knee deep in theirs -that tends to embolden people, if you know what I mean. I already know enough about Japan from my aunt to realize it’s not a place I want to go. I don’t even want to go to Korea (and hearing that being foreign there is worse just seals the deal for me!). By nature, I’m a very shy person, so getting stared at on that level would set me off.

    Yeah, think I’ll just stay in the good old US of A”

    DaGrrrl,

    Trust me, Mika is well protected when we go to Japan. My kids spend a part of their summer in Japan and their relatives don’t let her out of their sight without a bunch of people around at all times : ). Also, please don’t let being shy scare you off about travelling to other countries in particular Japan or Korea. There’s nothing like experiencing other countries and cultures 1st hand, you just have to have realistic expectations. As much as we may love to listen to K-Pop or watch K-Dramas, the “real” Korea is nothing like what people may have in their head. I did like Korea but it wasn’t for me. However, my kids LOVED being there. Maybe looking Asian made it very easy for them to assimilate, and also the fact that they are so accustomed to people looking at them twice, it doesn’t faze them. Who knows! But travel abroad and enjoy!!

  30. @KrisE Wow! Well KrisE, AngelFace is definitely right….it’s not worth the energy to get upset about less than favorable comments you might receive here. Trust me, I learned this the hard way. Something similar happened to me several weeks ago when I contributed a story about Cho Kyuhyun and Super Junior. Here I am thinking happy thoughts and hoping to share an uplifting story of survival with the ladies on this blog and before I knew it, my story had been taken and veered off course into another completely different…..negative….. subject that I didn’t even write about. It really hurt me because I felt like the subject of my story….Kyuhyun’s life…. got forgotten. I’ll always be grateful to AngelFace because I believe she was the main one who actually helped steer the conversation back to the subject I was writing about in the first place by sharing with us some nice experiences her little girl had with Super Junior.

    I guess I felt like if I wanted to be exposed to some negativity, I’d just go deal with my co-workers…… or watch FOX News. I wasn’t use to being part of a blog…..

    I guess I’m saying this because it’s very easy to get discouraged from writing another article but I doubt that is your problem because you seem thick-skinned and willing to continue writing no matter what. I love your positivity and fervor for Korean culture and you seem full of ideas so I hope you will take bitofabelly81’s advice and continue writing also.

    • Uhh who said I was upset about it or felt like stopping???? lolol lets not go overboard here, I dont care if comments are negative they dont bother me. What annoyed me above was it was supposedly directed at me but instead of just being straight forward the use of “some of you” was written implying that more than one person was “desperate”. Its my post and a person can comment towards ME however they want. But I found it rude to group readers into it. You all come across as very nice, intelligent and interesting and I dont feel you should take the hit for what I wrote. As a blogger I expect people to say what they want to me and it really doesnt bother me because I’m putting it all out there. I just feel being respectful towards the other members of the forum is important thats all.

  31. “I’ll always be grateful to AngelFace because I believe she was the main one who actually helped steer the conversation back to the subject I was writing about in the first place by sharing with us some nice experiences her little girl had with Super Junior”.

    Choi Min Jung,

    Thank you very much! I felt so bad for you when the discussion turned from such a positive thing about Super Junior to something so bad. I have a dual degree in Accounting and Psychology and sometimes that Psych Degree comes in handy when dealing with people. Plus, being a Mommy there is a natural tendency to want to “protect”. To both you and KrisE, don’t stop writing blogs. People will disagree and sometimes say things in a way that touches a nerve. We just have to keep things in perspective. This is an entertainment website and doesn’t have a direct affect on our lives. Sometimes the discussions will get deep but it’s all fun and love.

  32. @KrisE Oh, o.k. I kinda figured you were going to just let it roll off your back and continue writing……you seem very determined.

    Your skin is a lot thicker than mine…..I guess I just let it get to me, however I didn’t get bothered by that “desperate” comment. I just ignored it because I was too busy having fun talking about the things I loved.

    It’s alright to disagree but like you said, be respectful. 🙂

    • Cho Min Jung,

      I’m not old by any stretch but when I was very young, I was very “thin-skinned”. My daughter Mika is just like you. She’s very sensitive and gets very affected by people. But like I tell her, life will “toughen” you up. I’m still sensitive by nature but I definitely have a thicker skin now. Like my hubby says, I can go from “Sweet Angelica to Evil Angelica in 0.3 seconds”. LOL! Don’t mess with me or the people I care for :).

  33. Surely there is SOMEWHERE on the Internet where people with a similar enthusiasm are free to celebrate that enthusiasm and gush and be absolutely silly and make themselves vulnerable and generally just have harmless fun that doesn’t threaten anyone’s safety, paycheck, or world peace, without having to feel self-conscious about it.

    Or maybe I’m just delusional.

    Oh well. Have a good rest of the week, everybody. Laters!

  34. @Priscilla Hey there, so you’re from Atlanta too? Wouldn’t it be awesome if SM Town held a concert here at Phillips’ Arena? I’m not holding my breath on that but who knows….the influential music producers & our large and growing Korean community (or anyone else) here in the ATL could make their voices heard & a concert could happen here someday. Let’s see how SM Town NYC goes…

  35. “Priscilla says:

    Oh dear. I feel kind of awkward since it’s my first post here, but I felt like I just had to put in my two cents since I’m from Atlanta too. It would be great to have these people come down to Georgia. I absolutely adore SHINee and even though it’s in America, New York is quite a distance. It would be wonderful if they at least had the idea in their minds to come here some time in the future. It’s awesome to know that at least most of the idols you meet are actually pleasant. I’m sorry that Jonghyun made a butt of himself (from what it sounds like). I actually tend to expect famous people (from just about anywhere) to be distant, standoffish, and businesslike when dealing with fans in person so it’s nice when they’re not”.

    Priscilla,

    No need to feel awkward and congrats on your 1st post on Black Women Love Bi : ). I kinda feel like SM Entertainment is trying to feel out the interest of K-Pop in the U.S. It’s a costly production for this show with transportation, hotel, etc., I can definitely understand why they started with just LA and NYC. Those 2 cities are pretty much a gurantee sell out and money maker. But I can definitely see it expanding to other states in the future maybe Atlanta, Chicago, Houston.

    As far as the standoffish behavior for famous people, from what I hear the K-Pop idols are much nicer and accomodating to fans in the U.S. than back in Korea or Japan. I know that SM Entertainment frowns upon them taking personal pictures, talking or signging autographs back in Korea and most idos won’t even stop to wave to fans back there. Could be the number of fans that just scares them off, who knows, but we’ve only had one really negative experience so far, so I guess that’s a good thing : ).

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