How To Get A Japanese Boyfriend

It seems this article is geared more toward Western women living in Japan, but it doesn’t hurt for us States ladies to read up on tips for nabbing a Japanese boyfriend.

Take your pick

Some highlights I thought to be interesting:

1) Yuki, an assistant manager at a popular club in Shibuya, says the reason most Japanese men appear uninterested in Western women is because they assume they will be rejected. They believe Western women only want to date Western men.

This is one that I am sure we have all heard. All I have to say to that is, maybe back in the day this was more common, but things are a-changin’. Asian men as a whole cannot be so blind as to not see all of the websites, blogs (yours truly included), and youtube video confessions dedicated to them. Asian men: we want YOU. We want you all. We are attracted to you. We want you to ask us out. Seriously. Its true.

2) “Probably 100 percent of Japanese men think that American and European men’s looks are better than ours,” he says.

I say, “AS IF!!”

3) “Men expect women to be more quiet; expressions and words are not necessary,” says 25-year-old Masa. “If you explain everything, it would be too much for him.”

Ok, I have seriously got to work on this one! ;P

4) One extreme tactic that young Japanese women often use is to act drunk — you don’t actually have to get intoxicated, though — so the man has to take care of her.

I’ve also heard this one more than once. I personally would prefer not to do this. I would show my vunerability in other ways, such as pretending to struggle to open a tight jar or pick up a heavy object, which should force the object of my desire to feel that he would need to “save the day” and give me assistance. I have learned through personal experience that a woman refusing assistance from a man and proving that she is just as strong (or stronger) than him is very unappealing to a man. He must feel needed. He doesn’t want to date another man. He wants a woman, which he considers to be soft and delicate. Now, I’m not saying that a woman should in reality, be totally dependent on a man, but a woman should make her man think she is 😉 See, there’s the difference.

So…happy Japanese boyfriend hunting!

7 thoughts on “How To Get A Japanese Boyfriend

  1. Thanks for the info…I agree with you on the “damsel in distress” bit & also the expression of vulnerability (I mean,acting drunk ain’t cute in my eyes). I wonder if the same applies to korean men?

  2. I am horrible when it comes to being untruthful,
    so my acting skills would fail me in that regard.
    Now, if I were to actually be drunk; well,
    that scenario is more likely,
    and I have failed in that regard as well,
    and refused assistance on many occasions.
    I do recall seeing the disappointment in their eyes.
    But more often than not,
    I tend to slip out quietly and take myself home
    when I feel I’ve crossed that line.

    I do tend to be much to independent for my own good.
    My last boyfriend, who happened to be latin,
    very much liked to do things for me.
    Most of our arguments were about him wanting to do something
    for me, and me saying “No, what part of no do you not understand.”
    But as we got closer, I began to appreciate
    his being there, his offers of assistance,
    and the miraculous way he was able to calm me down,
    and resolve issues I had blown way out of proportion.
    So if being a “damsel in distress” should happen to come naturally,
    then by all means accept an offer of assistance from
    an interested male, Asian or otherwise.
    I can be a little daft at times,
    and a little slow at recognizing interest in the form
    of an offer of assistance, but I’m getting better at it.
    It warms the heart; and honestly,
    it can be a lot of fun sometimes.

  3. If there is an Asian country that Western people have been attracted to it would be Japan.

    If there are any Asian men that are appealing to some Western women,it would also have to be with Japanese men. Blasian relationships are on the rise,but Asian men/Black women have always hooked up. It just that society didn’t let people in on it like Black/White couples. Though I love the idea of Asian men/Black women enjoying each others company, I just hate that society treats the union as a new “thing” or not exposing them more.Maybe that is why they don’t know about this. Then again,if they looked at the internet,they would know better.

    I was looking at a couple of these points like point #1 and especially 3 and 4. How will these guys know if they will not ask? There may a possibility that they could rejected,but they should not always assume that it will always be about them being Japanese. Some Western women also feel the same way as they also have assumptions about Japanese men not liking them. It’s a two way thing.

    On point 2- Maybe society thinks that everybody just love kind of look on people, but some women, like me, like variety. I don’t like looking at the same ol ,same ol. and I’m quite sure that there are women out there who feel like me. I’m attracted to all sorts of men for different reasons. Physically, every race have their own uniqueness that make them look good. With Japanese and other Asian men, it would be the eyes, their honey colored complexion. In the past, I was drawn( at least the ones I came across) to their sexy voices , the way they dressed and their sense of humor.

    On point 3- That point concerns me. I mean, what if he had a bad day and your just want to express your support for him. As the saying goes, what you don’t know may HURT you. My fear is that he will take some of those problems and take it out on me , someone else or worse,himself. If I lived in Japan, I would respect that aspect about it even though deep down in my heart, I would hope that he would be the exception and see this concern as being a way of helping him out.

    Point 4-Huh….?!?! What’s up with that? I’m actually confused about that one. I mean, let’s say that the Japanese mother learned that I was the kind of woman who got drunk. I just cannot see her having an initial favorable impression about me for it. Even with Western moms..Black,White, Latino etc..they would have questions about that woman’s character .They would do better if they just pretended that they needed help with their car or something,but getting drunk? If that is the Japanese male way of getting a western woman’s attention that would be a very bad idea!

  4. Okay, here’s a quick “story” about a cute Japanese guys way back when I was going to TU. Okay, so I have a thing about having my name written in other languages and one day when I was having lunch in Brick St. cafe I got up the nerve (I was shy back then) to ask him if he would write my name for me in Japanese. He was nice, he smiled, and said sure. So he told me that there’s no “c” in his language, it’s a “k”, so it’s spelled “Monika.” I still have the piece of notebook paper he wrote my name in kanji characters. I saw him again a few days after and said hi to him, lol, I don’t think he remembered me cause he looked at me like “why is that black girl speaking to me” or something like that. LOL! Anyway, it was nice talking to him, learning about Japan, his family, and what he was going to do after he graduated.

  5. #3–that’s not just japanese men, that’s all men…ever watch dr. amen on pbs? he says that in language, men tend to use only the left side of their brain, are more detailed oriented and get straight to the point. women, however, have a larger number of connections crossing both sides of their brains. the extra connections make them better at multitasking and they usually have more to say. of course, there are exceptions. but most women have been annoyed by a guy’s selective hearing or the glazed look. unbeknownst to you, he’s been overwhelmed with words. maybe we had it right in grade school:

    Do you want to go out with me?


  6. ah.. how I wish to have a Japanese boyfriend.. maybe someday a husband too..
    oh where are you my ikemen guy.. where are you??

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