In a recent interview with Vibe magazine, actress Regina King stated in so many words that black women should expand the racial horizons when looking for a mate.
She said, “Of all groups of people, Black women are the least likely group of women that will date outside of their race. When you have everyone else who is willing to explore but a Black woman is like, “I want me a brother,” well, if the brothers are out and they’re open to date everybody and the majority of Black women aren’t willing to look twice when a man outside of their race is sending them messages, then that makes our percentage rate lower and the chances of finding love, because we’re only looking in one specific place for finding love-with Black men.”
What she is saying is so true. We have to let go of these notions that black men are the only men for us. No don’t get me wrong: there’s nothing wrong with wanting a black man! But, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, the pickins are slim! Its time to open our minds!
And in the case of confidence and insecurity, she added, “It’s more common here on the West Coast. I think in New York, you find more Black women that date outside of their race. But in L.A. not as many. I think Black women need to open up. A lot of Black women still carry a lot of pain when they see Black men with women who aren’t Black and that’s really unfortunate that that could make us so upset. It has to do with self esteem. With women on a whole, what a man thinks about us means so much to us. Does he think my hair is right? Does he think I look right? Does he think my a** is big enough? Does he think my titties are big enough?”
This is also soooo true. We have to stop worrying about if we will be accepted for our unique ethnic traits (which are so beautiful!). If a man doesn’t like it, he can keep walking. Plain and simple. Our goal is to find that special man (Asian or whatever) who will accept us for who we are, inside and out. And ladies, those men are out there! We just have to find them! But not without effort, as it starts with high self-esteem, confidence and an open mind.