Regina King’s Got the Right Idea

Regina King

In a recent interview with Vibe magazine, actress Regina King stated in so many words that black women should expand the racial horizons when looking for a mate.

She said, “Of all groups of people, Black women are the least likely group of women that will date outside of their race. When you have everyone else who is willing to explore but a Black woman is like, “I want me a brother,” well, if the brothers are out and they’re open to date everybody and the majority of Black women aren’t willing to look twice when a man outside of their race is sending them messages, then that makes our percentage rate lower and the chances of finding love, because we’re only looking in one specific place for finding love-with Black men.”

What she is saying is so true. We have to let go of these notions that black men are the only men for us. No don’t get me wrong: there’s nothing wrong with wanting a black man! But, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, the pickins are slim! Its time to open our minds!

And in the case of confidence and insecurity, she added, “It’s more common here on the West Coast. I think in New York, you find more Black women that date outside of their race. But in L.A. not as many. I think Black women need to open up. A lot of Black women still carry a lot of pain when they see Black men with women who aren’t Black and that’s really unfortunate that that could make us so upset. It has to do with self esteem. With women on a whole, what a man thinks about us means so much to us. Does he think my hair is right? Does he think I look right? Does he think my a** is big enough? Does he think my titties are big enough?”

This is also soooo true. We have to stop worrying about if we will be accepted for our unique ethnic traits (which are so beautiful!). If a man doesn’t like it, he can keep walking. Plain and simple. Our goal is to find that special man (Asian or whatever) who will accept us for who we are, inside and out. And ladies, those men are out there! We just have to find them! But not without effort, as it starts with high self-esteem, confidence and an open mind.

3 thoughts on “Regina King’s Got the Right Idea

  1. I very much agree with Regina King. I don’t know who’s she’s dating, but I sure hope he’s with a non-black man. More African-American women do need to stop thinking/believing that the only men out there who are/will be attracted to them are black men when clearly this isn’t the case. Just search interracial and you’d be wonderfully surprised with what you’d find. I also think it’s a personal “choice” who each person wants to date and/or marry, so I can totally understand why for some black women being with black men makes more sense for them. Personally, I do and have dated non black men and will continue to do so, I don’t know if my husband will be a black man or not, but in the meantime I’m not going to sit, waiting for some black man to come along. I’m dating men who are Asian, white, bi-racial, etc.

  2. I’ve always had that Regina King kind of thinking. Ever since I could remember, I was attracted to Black and other non-Black men. If I’m not mistaken ,she’s dating a Latino or Asian man, but I’m thinking he’s Latino.

    To some love isn’t colorblind,but if it’s ,meant for you to have a good man that may not be of your racial background then he the man for you. Some women lose out on great guys because of such things like this and other restrictive qualities that may have nothing to with enjoying yourself and your relationship/marriage.
    I’ve always been attracted to a sorts of men and had a few reciprocate dates with me. I’m not dating at the moment, but if the man is great and I’m attracted, I’ll go for him.

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